Adding Time - Clean (30-10-2011)

Daily Joke Visit The-Jokes.com Adding Time Luke's wife bought a new line of expensive cosmetics guaranteed to make her look years younger. After a lengthy sitting before the mirror applying the "miracle" products she asked, "Darling, honestly what age would you say I am?" Looking over her carefully, Luke replied, "Judging from your skin, twenty; your hair, eighteen; and your figure, twenty-five." "Oh, you flatterer!" she gushed. "Hey, wait a minute!" Luke interrupted. "I haven't added them up yet." BABE AND HUNK OF THE DAY Daily Babe: Click Here Daily Hunk: Click Here Please help pass on the laughs - forward this email to your friends and co-workers. TO SUBSCRIBE TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here TO CANCEL YOUR SUBSCRIPTION TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here For comments or suggestions, please use our Contact Form The-Jokes.com © 2001-2009. All rights reserved.

Greatest Hitter In The World - Clean (27-10-2011)

Daily Joke Visit The-Jokes.com Greatest Hitter In The World A little boy was overheard talking to himself as he strutted through the backyard, wearing his baseball cap and toting a ball and bat. "I'm the greatest hitter in the world," he announced. Then, he tossed the ball into the air, swung at it, and missed. "Strike One!" he yelled. Undaunted, he picked up the ball and said again, "I'm the greatest hitter in the world!" He tossed the ball into the air. When it came down he swung again and missed. "Strike Two!" he cried. The boy then paused a moment to examine his bat and ball carefully. He spit on his hands and rubbed them together. He straightened his cap and said once more, "I'm the greatest hitter in the world!" Again he tossed the ball up in the air and swung at it. He missed. "Strike Three!" "Wow!" he exclaimed. "I'm the greatest PITCHER in the world!" BABE AND HUNK OF THE DAY Daily Babe: Click Here Daily Hunk: Click Here Please help pass on the laughs - forward this email to your friends and co-workers. TO SUBSCRIBE TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here TO CANCEL YOUR SUBSCRIPTION TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here For comments or suggestions, please use our Contact Form The-Jokes.com © 2001-2009. All rights reserved.

A Bolt of Lightning - Medium (25-10-2011)

Daily Joke Visit The-Jokes.com A Bolt of Lightning One day a priest was playing baseball. A nun was cheerleading near first base. The priest was up to bat. The pitcher threw the ball. The priest swung, missed, and said "Dammit! I missed!" "Don't you say that mister or God will strike you with a bolt of lightning," the nun said. Again the pitcher threw the ball. The priest swung, missed, and said "Dammit! I missed!" "If you say that one more time mister, God will strike you with a bolt of lightning," the nun said. Once again the pitcher threw the ball. The priest swung, missed, and said "Dammit! I missed!" A bolt of lightning strikes the nun and God says "Dammit! I missed!" Thanks to: Andi BABE AND HUNK OF THE DAY Daily Babe: Click Here Daily Hunk: Click Here Please help pass on the laughs - forward this email to your friends and co-workers. TO SUBSCRIBE TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here TO CANCEL YOUR SUBSCRIPTION TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here For comments or suggestions, please use our Contact Form The-Jokes.com © 2001-2009. All rights reserved.

Indians\' Land - Medium (23-10-2011)

Daily Joke Visit The-Jokes.com Indians\' Land When white man found this land, Indians were running it. There were: - No Taxes - No Debt - Plenty buffalo - Plenty beaver - Medicine man free - Women did all the work - Men hunted and fished all the time The white man was dumb enough to think he could improve on that system! BABE AND HUNK OF THE DAY Daily Babe: Click Here Daily Hunk: Click Here Please help pass on the laughs - forward this email to your friends and co-workers. TO SUBSCRIBE TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here TO CANCEL YOUR SUBSCRIPTION TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here For comments or suggestions, please use our Contact Form The-Jokes.com © 2001-2009. All rights reserved.

A 15 - Clean (20-10-2011)

Daily Joke Visit The-Jokes.com A 15 A red head, a brunette, and a blonde walk into a bar. The bartender asks the redhead what she would like. She says, "I'll have a A.L." The bartender looks lost, and so the redhead says, "Daaaaa, an Amstel Lite!" Next, the bartender asks the brunette what she would like. The brunette says, "I'll have a B.L." With this, the bartender gets a grin on his face and says, "A Bud Lite,right?" The brunette says, "Daaaaa, a Becks lite!" Feeling really dumb, he asks the blonde what she would like to drink. The blonde says, "I'll have a 15." The bartender says to himself, "A 15, a 15, a 15?" The Blonde says, "daaaaa, a 7 and 7." BABE AND HUNK OF THE DAY Daily Babe: Click Here Daily Hunk: Click Here Please help pass on the laughs - forward this email to your friends and co-workers. TO SUBSCRIBE TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here TO CANCEL YOUR SUBSCRIPTION TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here For comments or suggestions, please use our Contact Form The-Jokes.com © 2001-2009. All rights reserved.

Mental Deficiency - Clean (18-10-2011)

Daily Joke Visit The-Jokes.com Mental Deficiency "Would you mind telling me, Doctor," Bob asked, "how you detect a mental deficiency in somebody who appears completely normal?" "Nothing is easier," he replied. "You ask him a simple question which everyone should answer with no trouble. If he hesitates, that puts you on the track." "What sort of question?" "Well, you might ask him, 'Captain Cook made three trips around the world and died during one of them. Which one?' Bob thought for a moment, and then said with a nervous laugh, "You wouldn't happen to have another example would you? I must confess I don't know much about history." BABE AND HUNK OF THE DAY Daily Babe: Click Here Daily Hunk: Click Here Please help pass on the laughs - forward this email to your friends and co-workers. TO SUBSCRIBE TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here TO CANCEL YOUR SUBSCRIPTION TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here For comments or suggestions, please use our Contact Form The-Jokes.com © 2001-2009. All rights reserved.

Not that kind\'a guy - Mature (16-10-2011)

Daily Joke Visit The-Jokes.com Not that kind\'a guy A cowboy walks into a Saloon after he rode 150 miles on his horse in one day. He had a drink about two weeks ago, but he had himself a lady about two months ago. He enters the saloon sits down and orders a whiskey. He sees that he is the only one in the bar except for the bartender. "Sorry, barkeep, tell me, you got any gals around here?", the cowboy asks "No sir, 'Round here is only you, me, and 'Ol George, there atta back," the barkeep replies as he shows in the direction of the toilet with his head. "No," shouts the cowboy, "I ain't that kindda guy." So the cowboy just sits and orders another whiskey. After he had about half a bottle he asks the barkeep the same question as earlier. He gets the same answer: "No sir, Round here is only you, me, and 'Ol George, there atta back. Again the cowboy says, "No way I ain't that kindda guy." So he just drinks and drinks. The more he drinks the hornier he gets. After he h! ad about two bottles of whiskey he askes the barkeep the same question and gets the same answer. But he is so horny by now that he decides 'Ol George there atta back will have to do, but he doesn't want anybody to know that he did 'Ol George there atta back. So he asks the barkeep: "If I do 'Ol George there atta back, who's gonna know about it?" The barkeep answers: "Well, sir It will be me, you, 'Ol George there atta back, and the four guys holding him down, 'cause he ain't that kindda guy either!" BABE AND HUNK OF THE DAY Daily Babe: Click Here Daily Hunk: Click Here Please help pass on the laughs - forward this email to your friends and co-workers. TO SUBSCRIBE TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here TO CANCEL YOUR SUBSCRIPTION TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here For comments or suggestions, please use our Contact Form The-Jokes.com © 2001-2009. All rights reserved.

Rest assured - Clean (13-10-2011)

Daily Joke Visit The-Jokes.com Rest assured A tourist goes to Africa and asks his tourist guide while walking in the jungle, "Are we safe here? Aren't there cannibals around here?" And the tourist guide says, "Yes. You can be sure there are no cannibals in Africa." And the tourist says, "But there may be still some cannibals." And the tourist guide says, "No, rest assured. We ate the last one last Monday." BABE AND HUNK OF THE DAY Daily Babe: Click Here Daily Hunk: Click Here Please help pass on the laughs - forward this email to your friends and co-workers. TO SUBSCRIBE TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here TO CANCEL YOUR SUBSCRIPTION TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here For comments or suggestions, please use our Contact Form The-Jokes.com © 2001-2009. All rights reserved.

Salesman - Clean (11-10-2011)

Daily Joke Visit The-Jokes.com Salesman Airman Jones was assigned to the induction center, where he advised new recruits about their government benefits, especially their GI insurance. It wasn't long before Captain Smith noticed that Airman Jones was having a staggeringly high success-rate, selling insurance to nearly 100% of the recruits he advised. Rather than asking him about this, the Captain stood at the back of the room and listened to Jones' sales pitch. Jones explained the basics of GI Insurance to the new recruits, and then said, "If you are killed in a battle and have a GI Insurance, the government has to pay $200,000 to your beneficiaries. But, if you don't have a GI insurance and get killed in the battle, the government only has to pay a maximum of $6000." "Now," he concluded, "which group do YOU think they are going to send into battle first?" BABE AND HUNK OF THE DAY Daily Babe: Click Here Daily Hunk: Click Here Please help pass on the laughs - forward this email to your friends and co-workers. TO SUBSCRIBE TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here TO CANCEL YOUR SUBSCRIPTION TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here For comments or suggestions, please use our Contact Form The-Jokes.com © 2001-2009. All rights reserved.

Mating cats - Medium (09-10-2011)

Daily Joke Visit The-Jokes.com Mating cats A veterinarian surgeon had had a hell of a day, but when he got home from tending to all the sick animals his wife was waiting with a long cool drink and a romantic candle-lit dinner, after which they had a few more drinks and went happily to bed. At about 2:00 in the morning, the phone rang. "Is this the vet?" asked an elderly lady's voice. "Yes, it is", replied the vet, "Is this an emergency?" "Well, sort of", said the elderly lady, "there's a whole bunch of cats on the roof outside making a terrible noise mating and I can't get to sleep. What can I do about it?" There was a sharp intake of breath from the vet, who then patiently replied "Open the window and tell them they're wanted on the phone" "Really?" said the elderly lady, "Will that stop them?" "Should do," said the vet, "- IT STOPPED ME!" BABE AND HUNK OF THE DAY Daily Babe: Click Here Daily Hunk: Click Here Please help pass on the laughs - forward this email to your friends and co-workers. TO SUBSCRIBE TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here TO CANCEL YOUR SUBSCRIPTION TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here For comments or suggestions, please use our Contact Form The-Jokes.com © 2001-2009. All rights reserved.

Looking for my car - Clean (02-10-2011)

Daily Joke Visit The-Jokes.com Looking for my car A drunken man was wondering around the parking lot of a bar, bumping into then rubbing the roofs of the cars. The manager comes out of the bar and stops the guy. "What the heck are you doing ?" he asks the drunk. "I'm looking for my car, and I can't find it." he replies. "So how does feeling the roof help you ?" asks the puzzled manager. "well," replies the drunk earnestly, "MY car has two blue lights and a siren on the roof!" BABE AND HUNK OF THE DAY Daily Babe: Click Here Daily Hunk: Click Here Please help pass on the laughs - forward this email to your friends and co-workers. TO SUBSCRIBE TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here TO CANCEL YOUR SUBSCRIPTION TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here For comments or suggestions, please use our Contact Form The-Jokes.com © 2001-2009. All rights reserved.