Two Rabbits - Medium (30-12-2010)

Daily Joke Visit The-Jokes.com Please, do not reply to this e-mail. Go to the end for contact info and removal instructions. If you're under 18, get your parents' permission before you read this. The Holiday Classics! Last years top selling holiday items are back! When you think of holiday smells, do you think of Christmas trees and freshly baked cookies? What about farts? Well you will this year with our Farting Santa! Don't worry, it's a replica of the sound only! Feeling a bit more risque this holiday season? There's the Mooning Santa and Perv the Elf! You won't believe what comes out of this pipsqueaks mouth! Get your shopping done early! Two Rabbits There were these two rabbits, Barry and Fred. They were being tested in a laboratory and after a few losses of hair and half of their teeth missing they decide to try and escape. They make this great plan and the next thing they knew, they were out in the counrtyside smelling the grass and generaly having a good time. After a bit Barry gets in a bit of a mood. "Why are you in such a mood" says Fred. Barry in a sulky mood says "Well you know that laboratory we were at, well I'm starting to miss that place" Fred in disbelief says "What, are you mad. That place is a dump. I've got more injection holes on my body than pores!" "Yeah I know " says Barry "But I'm killing for a fag." Thanks to: Dan Gregory BABE AND HUNK OF THE DAY Daily Babe: Click Here Daily Hunk: Click Here Please help pass on the laughs - forward this email to your friends and co-workers. TO SUBSCRIBE TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here TO CANCEL YOUR SUBSCRIPTION TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here For comments or suggestions, please use our Contact Form The-Jokes.com © 2001-2009. All rights reserved.

Girl on the Beach - Mature (28-12-2010)

Daily Joke Visit The-Jokes.com Please, do not reply to this e-mail. Go to the end for contact info and removal instructions. If you're under 18, get your parents' permission before you read this. The Holiday Classics! Last years top selling holiday items are back! When you think of holiday smells, do you think of Christmas trees and freshly baked cookies? What about farts? Well you will this year with our Farting Santa! Don't worry, it's a replica of the sound only! Feeling a bit more risque this holiday season? There's the Mooning Santa and Perv the Elf! You won't believe what comes out of this pipsqueaks mouth! Get your shopping done early! Girl on the Beach One day a man was walking on the beach and saw a girl with no arms or legs crying. The man went up to the girl and asked why she was crying. The girl said, "i'm 21 and I have no arms or legs and i've never been kissed." The man bent down and gave her the most softest, gentelist kiss and then he started to walk away. Then he heard the girl crying again. He went back and asked, "Why are you crying now?" The girl said, "I have no arms or legs, I'm 21 and I've never been screwed." The man bends down, picks up the girl and throws her into the ocean. Then the man said, "You've been screwed now baby." Thanks to: Emma Perkins BABE AND HUNK OF THE DAY Daily Babe: Click Here Daily Hunk: Click Here Please help pass on the laughs - forward this email to your friends and co-workers. TO SUBSCRIBE TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here TO CANCEL YOUR SUBSCRIPTION TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here For comments or suggestions, please use our Contact Form The-Jokes.com © 2001-2009. All rights reserved.

Two Blondes Walking in the Forest - Clean (26-12-2010)

Daily Joke Visit The-Jokes.com Please, do not reply to this e-mail. Go to the end for contact info and removal instructions. If you're under 18, get your parents' permission before you read this. The Holiday Classics! Last years top selling holiday items are back! When you think of holiday smells, do you think of Christmas trees and freshly baked cookies? What about farts? Well you will this year with our Farting Santa! Don't worry, it's a replica of the sound only! Feeling a bit more risque this holiday season? There's the Mooning Santa and Perv the Elf! You won't believe what comes out of this pipsqueaks mouth! Get your shopping done early! Two Blondes Walking in the Forest Two blondes are walking in the forest when they come across marks in the ground. One says to another, 'Oh, look at the deer tracks!' 'Those aren't deer trucks, you dumb blonde!' says the other. 'They're bear prints.' 'Deer tracks, you dumb blonde!' 'Bear prints, you dumb blonde!' Next day's headlines : Two blondes killed by train in forest. Thanks to: Riana BABE AND HUNK OF THE DAY Daily Babe: Click Here Daily Hunk: Click Here Please help pass on the laughs - forward this email to your friends and co-workers. TO SUBSCRIBE TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here TO CANCEL YOUR SUBSCRIPTION TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here For comments or suggestions, please use our Contact Form The-Jokes.com © 2001-2009. All rights reserved.

B or D - Medium (23-12-2010)

Daily Joke Visit The-Jokes.com Please, do not reply to this e-mail. Go to the end for contact info and removal instructions. If you're under 18, get your parents' permission before you read this. The Holiday Classics! Last years top selling holiday items are back! When you think of holiday smells, do you think of Christmas trees and freshly baked cookies? What about farts? Well you will this year with our Farting Santa! Don't worry, it's a replica of the sound only! Feeling a bit more risque this holiday season? There's the Mooning Santa and Perv the Elf! You won't believe what comes out of this pipsqueaks mouth! Get your shopping done early! B or D A guy walks into a bar, sits down next to another guy and immediately notices the guy has a very large Bic cigarette lighter. The first guy says "Wow, cool lighter...where did you get it?" "A genie from a bottle granted me one wish." "Great, can I try it?" "Sure." First guy rubs the bottle and the genie appears. "You are granted one wish says the genie." The guy says, "I want a million bucks!" "Done" says the genie and disappears. A few minutes go by and suddenly the bar door swings open and in come pouring in ducks. Thousands and thousands of ducks falling all over each other through the bar door. "I can't believe this," says the guy who had just placed his wish, "I asked for a million bucks, not a million ducks!" The second guy then says, "Do you really think I wished for a 12" Bic?" BABE AND HUNK OF THE DAY Daily Babe: Click Here Daily Hunk: Click Here Please help pass on the laughs - forward this email to your friends and co-workers. TO SUBSCRIBE TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here TO CANCEL YOUR SUBSCRIPTION TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here For comments or suggestions, please use our Contact Form The-Jokes.com © 2001-2009. All rights reserved.

Welcome Aboard - Clean (21-12-2010)

Daily Joke Visit The-Jokes.com Please, do not reply to this e-mail. Go to the end for contact info and removal instructions. If you're under 18, get your parents' permission before you read this. The Holiday Classics! Last years top selling holiday items are back! When you think of holiday smells, do you think of Christmas trees and freshly baked cookies? What about farts? Well you will this year with our Farting Santa! Don't worry, it's a replica of the sound only! Feeling a bit more risque this holiday season? There's the Mooning Santa and Perv the Elf! You won't believe what comes out of this pipsqueaks mouth! Get your shopping done early! Welcome Aboard "This is your captain speaking. On behalf of my crew I'd like to welcome you aboard British Airways flight 602 from New York to London. We are currently flying at a height of 35,000 feet midway across the Atlantic. "If you look out of the windows on the starboard side of the aircraft, you will observe that both the starboard engines are on fire. "If you look out of the windows on the port side, you will observe that the port wing has fallen off. "If you look down towards the Atlantic ocean, you will see a little yellow life raft with three people in it waving at you. "That's me, the copilot, and one of the air stewardesses. This is a recording." BABE AND HUNK OF THE DAY Daily Babe: Click Here Daily Hunk: Click Here Please help pass on the laughs - forward this email to your friends and co-workers. TO SUBSCRIBE TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here TO CANCEL YOUR SUBSCRIPTION TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here For comments or suggestions, please use our Contact Form The-Jokes.com © 2001-2009. All rights reserved.

Star Player - Clean (19-12-2010)

Daily Joke Visit The-Jokes.com Please, do not reply to this e-mail. Go to the end for contact info and removal instructions. If you're under 18, get your parents' permission before you read this. The Holiday Classics! Last years top selling holiday items are back! When you think of holiday smells, do you think of Christmas trees and freshly baked cookies? What about farts? Well you will this year with our Farting Santa! Don't worry, it's a replica of the sound only! Feeling a bit more risque this holiday season? There's the Mooning Santa and Perv the Elf! You won't believe what comes out of this pipsqueaks mouth! Get your shopping done early! Star Player A football coach walked into the locker room before a game, looked over to his star player and said, "I'm not supposed to let you play since you failed math, but we need you in there. So, what I have to do is ask you a math question, and if you get it right, you can play." The player agreed, so coach looked into his eyes intently and asked, "Okay, now concentrate hard and tell me the answer to this. What is two plus two?" The player thought for a moment and then answered, "4?" "Did you say 4?" the coach exclaimed, excited that he had got it right. Suddenly all the other players on the team began screaming..., "Come on coach, give him another chance!" BABE AND HUNK OF THE DAY Daily Babe: Click Here Daily Hunk: Click Here Please help pass on the laughs - forward this email to your friends and co-workers. TO SUBSCRIBE TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here TO CANCEL YOUR SUBSCRIPTION TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here For comments or suggestions, please use our Contact Form The-Jokes.com © 2001-2009. All rights reserved.

A Hamster and a Bullfrog - Clean (16-12-2010)

Daily Joke Visit The-Jokes.com Please, do not reply to this e-mail. Go to the end for contact info and removal instructions. If you're under 18, get your parents' permission before you read this. The Holiday Classics! Last years top selling holiday items are back! When you think of holiday smells, do you think of Christmas trees and freshly baked cookies? What about farts? Well you will this year with our Farting Santa! Don't worry, it's a replica of the sound only! Feeling a bit more risque this holiday season? There's the Mooning Santa and Perv the Elf! You won't believe what comes out of this pipsqueaks mouth! Get your shopping done early! A Hamster and a Bullfrog A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. "Listen," he says to the bartender, "If I show you the most amazing thing you've ever seen, is my beer on the house?" "We'll see," says the bartender. So the guy pulls out a hamster and a tiny piano out of a bag, puts them on the bar, and the hamster begins to play. "Impressive," says the bartender, "but I'll need to see more." "Hold on," says the man. He then pulls out a bullfrog, and it sings "Old Man River." A patron jumps up from his table and shouts "Thats's Absolutely incredible! I'll give you $100 right now for the frog." "Sold," says the guy. The patron takes the bullfrog and leaves. "It's none of my business," says the bartender, "but you just gave away a fortune." "Not really," says the guy, "The hamster is also a vantriloquist." BABE AND HUNK OF THE DAY Daily Babe: Click Here Daily Hunk: Click Here Please help pass on the laughs - forward this email to your friends and co-workers. TO SUBSCRIBE TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here TO CANCEL YOUR SUBSCRIPTION TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here For comments or suggestions, please use our Contact Form The-Jokes.com © 2001-2009. All rights reserved.

A Hamster and a Bullfrog - Clean (15-12-2010)

Daily Joke Visit The-Jokes.com Please, do not reply to this e-mail. Go to the end for contact info and removal instructions. If you're under 18, get your parents' permission before you read this. The Holiday Classics! Last years top selling holiday items are back! When you think of holiday smells, do you think of Christmas trees and freshly baked cookies? What about farts? Well you will this year with our Farting Santa! Don't worry, it's a replica of the sound only! Feeling a bit more risque this holiday season? There's the Mooning Santa and Perv the Elf! You won't believe what comes out of this pipsqueaks mouth! Get your shopping done early! A Hamster and a Bullfrog A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. "Listen," he says to the bartender, "If I show you the most amazing thing you've ever seen, is my beer on the house?" "We'll see," says the bartender. So the guy pulls out a hamster and a tiny piano out of a bag, puts them on the bar, and the hamster begins to play. "Impressive," says the bartender, "but I'll need to see more." "Hold on," says the man. He then pulls out a bullfrog, and it sings "Old Man River." A patron jumps up from his table and shouts "Thats's Absolutely incredible! I'll give you $100 right now for the frog." "Sold," says the guy. The patron takes the bullfrog and leaves. "It's none of my business," says the bartender, "but you just gave away a fortune." "Not really," says the guy, "The hamster is also a vantriloquist." BABE AND HUNK OF THE DAY Daily Babe: Click Here Daily Hunk: Click Here Please help pass on the laughs - forward this email to your friends and co-workers. TO SUBSCRIBE TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here TO CANCEL YOUR SUBSCRIPTION TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here For comments or suggestions, please use our Contact Form The-Jokes.com © 2001-2009. All rights reserved.

English Teacher - Mature (14-12-2010)

Daily Joke Visit The-Jokes.com Follow us on TWITTER! You can now follow us on TWITTER with the funniest short jokes and one-liners. Just open a Twitter.com account (if you don't have one) and follow us to receive our updates! Click Here English Teacher A boy in the sixth grade comes home after school one day. His mother notices that he's got a big smile on his face. She asks, "Did anything special happen at school today?" "Yes, Mom. I had sex with my English teacher!" The mother is stunned. "You're going to talk about this with your father when he gets home." Well, when dad comes home and hears the news he is pleased as punch. Beaming with pride, he walks over to his son and says, "Son, I hear you had sex with your English teacher." "That's right, Dad." "Well, you became a man today - this is cause for celebration. Let's head out for some ice cream, and then I'll buy that new bike you've been asking for." "That sounds great, Dad, but I can I have a football instead? My ass is killing me." BABE AND HUNK OF THE DAY Daily Babe: Click Here Daily Hunk: Click Here Please help pass on the laughs - forward this email to your friends and co-workers. TO SUBSCRIBE TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here TO CANCEL YOUR SUBSCRIPTION TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here For comments or suggestions, please use our Contact Form The-Jokes.com © 2001-2009. All rights reserved.

Woman - Medium (09-12-2010)

Daily Joke Visit The-Jokes.com Follow us on TWITTER! You can now follow us on TWITTER with the funniest short jokes and one-liners. Just open a Twitter.com account (if you don't have one) and follow us to receive our updates! Click Here Woman Workplace Hazardous materials Information System Substance: Women Chemical system: Wow Manufacturer: God Typical Size: Average weight 115 lbs; specimens can vary from 90 to 200 lbs. Occurrence: Large quantities found in urban areas and shopping malls. PHYSICAL PROPERTIES 1. Surface Tension - Soft and warm 2. Exposed surfaces usually cosmetically enhanced. 3. Boils at nothing. 4. Freezes without reason. 5. Melts with special reason. 6. Flavour initially sweet, becomes bitter if used incorrectly. 7. Found in various states of purity from virgin metal to common ore. 8. Yields to pressure applied at certain points. 9. Sometimes enlarges alarmingly with age. 10. Even brief linking with male substance can cause substance to reproduce with marked physical and mental changes. CHEMICAL PROPERTIES 1. Has affinity for gold, silver and precious stones. 2. Absorbs great quantity of expensive substances. 3. Highly volatile for reasons not clearly understood. 4. Verbal activity greatly increased by alcohol saturation. 5. Most powerful money reducing agent known. COMMON USES 1. Highly ornamental. 2. Relatively brief exposure can be a great aid to relaxation. 3. Pleasurable companion until legally owned. SUBSTANCE VERIFICATION 1. Pure specimen turns bright pink when observed in natural state. 2. Turns green when compared to better specimens. HAZZARDS 1. May explode spontaneously without cause. 2. Illegal to possess more than one specimen at a time. 3. Avoid specimen contact with plastic credit cards BABE AND HUNK OF THE DAY Daily Babe: Click Here Daily Hunk: Click Here Please help pass on the laughs - forward this email to your friends and co-workers. TO SUBSCRIBE TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here TO CANCEL YOUR SUBSCRIPTION TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here For comments or suggestions, please use our Contact Form The-Jokes.com © 2001-2009. All rights reserved.

White Mustache - Mature (07-12-2010)

Daily Joke Visit The-Jokes.com Follow us on TWITTER! You can now follow us on TWITTER with the funniest short jokes and one-liners. Just open a Twitter.com account (if you don't have one) and follow us to receive our updates! Click Here White Mustache A man walks into a tee shirt store. There are 3 shirts on display. The first has a picture of Richard Nixon with a white mustache. Below the picture is titled "Got Milk." The second tee shirt has a picture of Ronald Reagan with a white mustache. It is entitled "Forgot Milk." The third tee shirt has a picture of Monica Lewinsky with a white mustache on it. It is entitled "Not Milk." BABE AND HUNK OF THE DAY Daily Babe: Click Here Daily Hunk: Click Here Please help pass on the laughs - forward this email to your friends and co-workers. TO SUBSCRIBE TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here TO CANCEL YOUR SUBSCRIPTION TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here For comments or suggestions, please use our Contact Form The-Jokes.com © 2001-2009. All rights reserved.

How Much do You Loose - Mature (05-12-2010)

Daily Joke Visit The-Jokes.com Follow us on TWITTER! You can now follow us on TWITTER with the funniest short jokes and one-liners. Just open a Twitter.com account (if you don't have one) and follow us to receive our updates! Click Here How Much do You Loose A streetwalker was visiting her doctor for a regular check-up. "Any specific problems you should tell me about?" the doctor asked. "Well, I have noticed lately that if I get even the tiniest cut, it seems to bleed for hours." she replied. "Do you think I might be a hemophiliac?" "Well," the doctor answered, "Hemophilia is a genetic disorder and it is more often found in men, but it is possible for a woman to be a hemophiliac. Tell me, how much you lose when you have your period?" After calculating for a moment, the hooker replied, "Oh, about seven or eight hundred dollars, I guess." BABE AND HUNK OF THE DAY Daily Babe: Click Here Daily Hunk: Click Here Please help pass on the laughs - forward this email to your friends and co-workers. TO SUBSCRIBE TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here TO CANCEL YOUR SUBSCRIPTION TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here For comments or suggestions, please use our Contact Form The-Jokes.com © 2001-2009. All rights reserved.

If Women Ruled the World - Medium (02-12-2010)

Daily Joke Visit The-Jokes.com Follow us on TWITTER! You can now follow us on TWITTER with the funniest short jokes and one-liners. Just open a Twitter.com account (if you don't have one) and follow us to receive our updates! Click Here If Women Ruled the World Maternity leave would last for two years...with full pay. There'd be a cure for stretch marks. Natural childbirth would become obsolete. Morning sickness would rank as the nation's number one health problem. All methods of birth control would be improved 100 percent effectiveness. Children would be kept in the hospital until they were toilet trained. Men would be EAGER to talk about commitment. They wouldn't think twins were quite so cute. Fathers would demand thaqt their SONS be home from dates by 10:00pm. Men could use THEIR briefcases as diaper bags. They'd have to stop saying,"I'm afraid I'll drop him." Paternity suits would be a line of clothes. They'd stay in bed for the entire nine months. Menus at most restaurants would list ice cream and pickles as an entree. BABE AND HUNK OF THE DAY Daily Babe: Click Here Daily Hunk: Click Here Please help pass on the laughs - forward this email to your friends and co-workers. TO SUBSCRIBE TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here TO CANCEL YOUR SUBSCRIPTION TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here For comments or suggestions, please use our Contact Form The-Jokes.com © 2001-2009. All rights reserved.