Indian Toilet Paper - Medium (29-04-2010)

Daily Joke Visit The-Jokes.com Follow us on TWITTER! You can now follow us on TWITTER with the funniest short jokes and one-liners. Just open a Twitter.com account (if you don't have one) and follow us to receive our updates! Click Here Indian Toilet Paper An Indian walks into a trading post and asks for toilet paper. The clerk asks if he would like no name, Charmin, or White Cloud. "White Cloud sounds like good Indian toilet paper," says the Indian. "How much is it?" "$1.00 a roll," the clerk replies. "That seems pretty expensive," responds the Indian. "What about the others?" "Charmin is $2.00 a roll, and no name is 50 cents a roll." The Indian doesn't have much money, so he opts for the no name. Within a few hours, he is back at the trading post. "I have a name for the no name toilet paper," he announces to the clerk. "We shall call it John Wayne." "Why?" asks the confused clerk. "Cause it's rough and it's tough and it don't take no shit off an Indian." BABE AND HUNK OF THE DAY Daily Babe: Click Here Daily Hunk: Click Here Please help pass on the laughs - forward this email to your friends and co-workers. TO SUBSCRIBE TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here TO CANCEL YOUR SUBSCRIPTION TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here For comments or suggestions, please use our Contact Form The-Jokes.com © 2001-2009. All rights reserved.

The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly - Medium (27-04-2010)

Daily Joke Visit The-Jokes.com Follow us on TWITTER! You can now follow us on TWITTER with the funniest short jokes and one-liners. Just open a Twitter.com account (if you don't have one) and follow us to receive our updates! Click Here The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly Good: You're pregnant. Bad: It's triplets. Ugly: Your husband had a vasectomy five years ago. Good: Your husband is not talking to you. Bad: He wants a divorce. Ugly: He's a lawyer. Good: Your son is finally maturing. Bad: He's involved with the woman next door. Ugly: So are you. Good: Your son studies a lot in his room. Bad: You find several pornographic movies hidden there. Ugly: You're in them. Good: Your husband understands fashion. Bad: He's a cross-dresser. Ugly: He looks better than you. Good: You give "the birds and the bees" talk to your 14-year-old daughter. Bad: She keeps interrupting. Ugly: With corrections. Good: Your daughter got a new job. Bad: As a hooker. Ugly: Your co-workers are her best clients. Way Ugly: She makes more money than you do! BABE AND HUNK OF THE DAY Daily Babe: Click Here Daily Hunk: Click Here Please help pass on the laughs - forward this email to your friends and co-workers. TO SUBSCRIBE TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here TO CANCEL YOUR SUBSCRIPTION TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here For comments or suggestions, please use our Contact Form The-Jokes.com © 2001-2009. All rights reserved.

Valentine\'s Day Cards - Clean (25-04-2010)

Daily Joke Visit The-Jokes.com Follow us on TWITTER! You can now follow us on TWITTER with the funniest short jokes and one-liners. Just open a Twitter.com account (if you don't have one) and follow us to receive our updates! Click Here Valentine\'s Day Cards A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing "Love" stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. The balding man then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying them all. His curiosity getting the better of him, he goes up to the balding man and asks him what he is doing. The man says, "I'm sending out 1,000 Valentine cards signed, 'Guess who?'" "But why?" asks the man. "I'm a divorce lawyer." BABE AND HUNK OF THE DAY Daily Babe: Click Here Daily Hunk: Click Here Please help pass on the laughs - forward this email to your friends and co-workers. TO SUBSCRIBE TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here TO CANCEL YOUR SUBSCRIPTION TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here For comments or suggestions, please use our Contact Form The-Jokes.com © 2001-2009. All rights reserved.

Tiff With Riley - Medium (22-04-2010)

Daily Joke Visit The-Jokes.com Follow us on TWITTER! You can now follow us on TWITTER with the funniest short jokes and one-liners. Just open a Twitter.com account (if you don't have one) and follow us to receive our updates! Click Here Tiff With Riley My god! What happened to you?" the bartender asked Kelly as he hobbled in on a crutch, one arm in a cast. "I got in a tiff with Riley." "Riley? He's just a wee fellow," the barkeep said surprised. "He must have had something in his hand." "That he did," Kelly said. "A shovel it was." "Dear Lord. Didn't you have anything in your hand?" "Aye, that I did--Mrs. Riley's left tit." Kelly said. "And a beautiful thing it was, but not much use in a fight!" BABE AND HUNK OF THE DAY Daily Babe: Click Here Daily Hunk: Click Here Please help pass on the laughs - forward this email to your friends and co-workers. TO SUBSCRIBE TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here TO CANCEL YOUR SUBSCRIPTION TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here For comments or suggestions, please use our Contact Form The-Jokes.com © 2001-2009. All rights reserved.

The Unhappy Man - Medium (20-04-2010)

Daily Joke Visit The-Jokes.com Follow us on TWITTER! You can now follow us on TWITTER with the funniest short jokes and one-liners. Just open a Twitter.com account (if you don't have one) and follow us to receive our updates! Click Here The Unhappy Man A man lost both of his arms in a car accident. When he recovered in the hospital, he found that he was useless and decided to commit suicide by jumping out of a 10th-story window. As he looked down from the window, he saw a man with no arms just like him dancing wildly and happily on the street. He decided to find out what made this man so happy. Arriving on the street, he asked, "Hey, brother, stop dancing for a minute and tell what your secret is that you are so happy." The dancing man responded, "What do you mean, happy? Hell no! I feel itchy like hell in my ass, but I can't reach it." BABE AND HUNK OF THE DAY Daily Babe: Click Here Daily Hunk: Click Here Please help pass on the laughs - forward this email to your friends and co-workers. TO SUBSCRIBE TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here TO CANCEL YOUR SUBSCRIPTION TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here For comments or suggestions, please use our Contact Form The-Jokes.com © 2001-2009. All rights reserved.

An Old Man\'s Gift - Mature (18-04-2010)

Daily Joke Visit The-Jokes.com Follow us on TWITTER! You can now follow us on TWITTER with the funniest short jokes and one-liners. Just open a Twitter.com account (if you don't have one) and follow us to receive our updates! Click Here An Old Man\'s Gift An elderly man entered a car agency with his young wife. The owner of the agency spotted the couple and went over to wait upon them himself. He couldn't help but stare at the lady, which, of course, the elderly man noticed. "May I propose a wager," said the elderly man. "If you can do everything to my wife that I can do and still end up the way I do, I will pay you double for the car. But if you cannot, you will give it to me for free!" "Okay, agreed!" said the agency owner. The elderly man gave his wife a passionate kiss, then the agency owner did the same. Then the elderly man unbuttoned her blouse and kissed her breasts. So did the agency owner. Then the husband opened his fly, pulled out his pecker, and bent it in half. "What color car do you want?" asked the agency owner. BABE AND HUNK OF THE DAY Daily Babe: Click Here Daily Hunk: Click Here Please help pass on the laughs - forward this email to your friends and co-workers. TO SUBSCRIBE TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here TO CANCEL YOUR SUBSCRIPTION TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here For comments or suggestions, please use our Contact Form The-Jokes.com © 2001-2009. All rights reserved.

An Old Man\'s Gift - Mature (15-04-2010)

Daily Joke Visit The-Jokes.com Please, do not reply to this e-mail. Go to the end for contact info and removal instructions. If you're under 18, get your parents' permission before you read this. The Holiday Classics! Last years top selling holiday items are back! When you think of holiday smells, do you think of Christmas trees and freshly baked cookies? What about farts? Well you will this year with our Farting Santa! Don't worry, it's a replica of the sound only! Feeling a bit more risque this holiday season? There's the Mooning Santa and Perv the Elf! You won't believe what comes out of this pipsqueaks mouth! Get your shopping done early! An Old Man\'s Gift An elderly man entered a car agency with his young wife. The owner of the agency spotted the couple and went over to wait upon them himself. He couldn't help but stare at the lady, which, of course, the elderly man noticed. "May I propose a wager," said the elderly man. "If you can do everything to my wife that I can do and still end up the way I do, I will pay you double for the car. But if you cannot, you will give it to me for free!" "Okay, agreed!" said the agency owner. The elderly man gave his wife a passionate kiss, then the agency owner did the same. Then the elderly man unbuttoned her blouse and kissed her breasts. So did the agency owner. Then the husband opened his fly, pulled out his pecker, and bent it in half. "What color car do you want?" asked the agency owner. BABE AND HUNK OF THE DAY Daily Babe: Click Here Daily Hunk: Click Here Please help pass on the laughs - forward this email to your friends and co-workers. TO SUBSCRIBE TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here TO CANCEL YOUR SUBSCRIPTION TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here For comments or suggestions, please use our Contact Form The-Jokes.com © 2001-2009. All rights reserved.

Why Sheep are Better than Women - Mature (13-04-2010)

Daily Joke Visit The-Jokes.com Please, do not reply to this e-mail. Go to the end for contact info and removal instructions. If you're under 18, get your parents' permission before you read this. The Holiday Classics! Last years top selling holiday items are back! When you think of holiday smells, do you think of Christmas trees and freshly baked cookies? What about farts? Well you will this year with our Farting Santa! Don't worry, it's a replica of the sound only! Feeling a bit more risque this holiday season? There's the Mooning Santa and Perv the Elf! You won't believe what comes out of this pipsqueaks mouth! Get your shopping done early! Why Sheep are Better than Women Sheep don't have a gag reflex, or upper teeth. You can get a better grip on a sheep's ear. Sheep don't shy away from boots and leather. Cottonmouth is easier to get rid of than a social disease. Nuttin' beats mutton. Sheep won't argue about whose turn it is to go get a towel. Sheep won't drink your liquor, smoke your weed, snort your coke, and then tell you they have to be home early. Sheep never ask if you're ready to settle down. Sheep never ask about you former lovers and then get pissed off when you tell them. BABE AND HUNK OF THE DAY Daily Babe: Click Here Daily Hunk: Click Here Please help pass on the laughs - forward this email to your friends and co-workers. TO SUBSCRIBE TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here TO CANCEL YOUR SUBSCRIPTION TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here For comments or suggestions, please use our Contact Form The-Jokes.com © 2001-2009. All rights reserved.

Railroad - Clean (11-04-2010)

Daily Joke Visit The-Jokes.com Please, do not reply to this e-mail. Go to the end for contact info and removal instructions. If you're under 18, get your parents' permission before you read this. The Holiday Classics! Last years top selling holiday items are back! When you think of holiday smells, do you think of Christmas trees and freshly baked cookies? What about farts? Well you will this year with our Farting Santa! Don't worry, it's a replica of the sound only! Feeling a bit more risque this holiday season? There's the Mooning Santa and Perv the Elf! You won't believe what comes out of this pipsqueaks mouth! Get your shopping done early! Railroad A man who had spent his whole life in the desert visited a friend. He'd never seen a train or the tracks they run on. While standing in the middle of the railroad tracks, he heard a whistle, but didn't know what it was. Predictably, he was hit and thrown to the side of the tracks, with some internal injuries, a few broken bones, and some bruises. After months in the hospital recovering, he was at his friend's house attending a party. While in the kitchen, he suddenly heard the tea kettle whistling. He grabbed a baseball bat from the nearby closet and bashed the tea kettle into an unrecognizable lump of metal. His friend, hearing the ruckus, rushed into the kitchen, saw what had happened, and asked the desert man, "Why'd you ruin my good tea kettle?" The desert man replied, "Man, you gotta kill these things when they're small." BABE AND HUNK OF THE DAY Daily Babe: Click Here Daily Hunk: Click Here Please help pass on the laughs - forward this email to your friends and co-workers. TO SUBSCRIBE TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here TO CANCEL YOUR SUBSCRIPTION TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here For comments or suggestions, please use our Contact Form The-Jokes.com © 2001-2009. All rights reserved.

Gray Hair - Clean (08-04-2010)

Daily Joke Visit The-Jokes.com Please, do not reply to this e-mail. Go to the end for contact info and removal instructions. If you're under 18, get your parents' permission before you read this. The Holiday Classics! Last years top selling holiday items are back! When you think of holiday smells, do you think of Christmas trees and freshly baked cookies? What about farts? Well you will this year with our Farting Santa! Don't worry, it's a replica of the sound only! Feeling a bit more risque this holiday season? There's the Mooning Santa and Perv the Elf! You won't believe what comes out of this pipsqueaks mouth! Get your shopping done early! Gray Hair One day, a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast to her brunette hair. The little girl looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?" Her mother replied, "Well, every time you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white." The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then asked, "Momma, how come all of grandma's hairs are white?" BABE AND HUNK OF THE DAY Daily Babe: Click Here Daily Hunk: Click Here Please help pass on the laughs - forward this email to your friends and co-workers. TO SUBSCRIBE TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here TO CANCEL YOUR SUBSCRIPTION TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here For comments or suggestions, please use our Contact Form The-Jokes.com © 2001-2009. All rights reserved.

Up Penny Lane - Medium (06-04-2010)

Daily Joke Visit The-Jokes.com Please, do not reply to this e-mail. Go to the end for contact info and removal instructions. If you're under 18, get your parents' permission before you read this. The Holiday Classics! Last years top selling holiday items are back! When you think of holiday smells, do you think of Christmas trees and freshly baked cookies? What about farts? Well you will this year with our Farting Santa! Don't worry, it's a replica of the sound only! Feeling a bit more risque this holiday season? There's the Mooning Santa and Perv the Elf! You won't believe what comes out of this pipsqueaks mouth! Get your shopping done early! Up Penny Lane One day, a teacher in a high school class was administering a test, and she noticed that four pupils were missing. The first one came in. "Why are you so late?" the teacher said to him. "Sorry, miss," he said. "I've been up Penny Lane." She told him to go sit down. Then the second pupil came in. "Why are you so late?" she said to him. "Sorry miss," he said. "I've been up Penny Lane." She told him to go sit down. Then the third one came in. "Why are you so late?" she said to him. "Sorry miss," he said. "I've been up Penny Lane." She told him to go sit down. Finally, the fourth pupil, a girl, came in. "I suppose you've been up Penny Lane, too, then?" "No, miss," she said to the teacher. "I am Penny Lane" BABE AND HUNK OF THE DAY Daily Babe: Click Here Daily Hunk: Click Here Please help pass on the laughs - forward this email to your friends and co-workers. TO SUBSCRIBE TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here TO CANCEL YOUR SUBSCRIPTION TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here For comments or suggestions, please use our Contact Form The-Jokes.com © 2001-2009. All rights reserved.

Woman and the Midget - Mature (04-04-2010)

Daily Joke Visit The-Jokes.com Please, do not reply to this e-mail. Go to the end for contact info and removal instructions. If you're under 18, get your parents' permission before you read this. The Holiday Classics! Last years top selling holiday items are back! When you think of holiday smells, do you think of Christmas trees and freshly baked cookies? What about farts? Well you will this year with our Farting Santa! Don't worry, it's a replica of the sound only! Feeling a bit more risque this holiday season? There's the Mooning Santa and Perv the Elf! You won't believe what comes out of this pipsqueaks mouth! Get your shopping done early! Woman and the Midget A tall woman met a midget at a party. The midget was barely three feet tall, but they were attracted to each other. After a few drinks, the two went back to the tall woman's apartment. "I can't imagine what it will be like making love to a midget," said the woman, "especially with the size difference and all." "Just take off your clothes, lie back on the bed, spread your legs, and close your eyes," said the midget. The woman did as she was told, and soon she felt the biggest thing she had ever experienced inside her. Within a few minutes, the woman had climaxed eight times. "If you think was good," said the midget with a smirk, "just wait till I get BOTH legs in there!" BABE AND HUNK OF THE DAY Daily Babe: Click Here Daily Hunk: Click Here Please help pass on the laughs - forward this email to your friends and co-workers. TO SUBSCRIBE TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here TO CANCEL YOUR SUBSCRIPTION TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here For comments or suggestions, please use our Contact Form The-Jokes.com © 2001-2009. All rights reserved.

Over the Counter - Mature (01-04-2010)

Daily Joke Visit The-Jokes.com Please, do not reply to this e-mail. Go to the end for contact info and removal instructions. If you're under 18, get your parents' permission before you read this. The Holiday Classics! Last years top selling holiday items are back! When you think of holiday smells, do you think of Christmas trees and freshly baked cookies? What about farts? Well you will this year with our Farting Santa! Don't worry, it's a replica of the sound only! Feeling a bit more risque this holiday season? There's the Mooning Santa and Perv the Elf! You won't believe what comes out of this pipsqueaks mouth! Get your shopping done early! Over the Counter A middle-aged man who is about 5 feet, 8 inches tall walks into a Wal-Mart and asks where the pharmacy counter is. He is directed to it. When he reaches the pharmacy counter, he asks to see the pharmacist. The pharmacist comes out, and the man, looking around furtively, asks quietly, "Do you sell Viagra here?" The pharmacist answers firmly, "Yes, sir. We certainly do." The man then says, "Do you think I could get it over the counter?" The pharmacist looks at him for a moment, compares his height to that of the counter, and then says, "Perhaps if you took 5 or 6 pills at once you might." BABE AND HUNK OF THE DAY Daily Babe: Click Here Daily Hunk: Click Here Please help pass on the laughs - forward this email to your friends and co-workers. TO SUBSCRIBE TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here TO CANCEL YOUR SUBSCRIPTION TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here For comments or suggestions, please use our Contact Form The-Jokes.com © 2001-2009. All rights reserved.