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A Terrible Headache An executive was in quandary. He had to get rid of one of his staff. He had narrowed it down to one of two people, Debra or Jack. It would be a hard decision to make, as they were both equally qualified and both did excellent work. He finally decided that in the morning whichever one used the water cooler first would have to go. Debra came in the next morning, hugely hungover after partying all night. She went to the cooler to get some water to take an aspirin and the executive approached her and said: "Debra, I've never done this before, but I have to lay you or Jack off." Debra replied, "Could you jack off, I have a terrible headache." BABE AND HUNK OF THE DAY Daily Babe: Click Here Daily Hunk: Click Here Please help pass on the laughs - forward this email to your friends and co-workers. TO SUBSCRIBE TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here TO CANCEL YOUR SUBSCRIPTION TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here For comments or suggestions, please use our Contact Form | ||||
Jan 31, 2010
A Terrible Headache - Mature (31-01-2010)
Jan 28, 2010
What\'s Your Business Sign? - Medium (28-01-2010)
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What\'s Your Business Sign? Instead of Astrological Signs, how about these .. What's Your Business Sign? 1) MARKETING You are ambitious yet stupid. You chose a marketing degree to avoid having to study in college, concentrating instead on drinking and socializing which is pretty much what your job responsibilities are now. Least compatible with Sales. 2) SALES Laziest of all signs, often referred to as "marketing without a degree." You are also self-centered and paranoid. Unless someone calls you and begs you to take their money, you like to avoid contact with customers so you can "concentrate on the big picture." You seek admiration for your golf game throughout your life. 3) TECHNOLOGY Unable to control anything in your personal life, you are instead content to completely control everything that happens at your workplace. Often even YOU don't understand what you are saying but who the hell can tell. It is written that Geeks shall inherit the Earth. 4) ENGIN! EERING One of only two signs that actually studied in school. It is said that engineers place ninety percent of all Personal Ads. You can be happy with yourself; your office is full of all the latest "ergodynamic" gadgets. However, we all know what is really causing your "carpal tunnel syndrome." 5) ACCOUNTING The only other sign that studied in school. You are mostly immune from office politics. You are the most feared person in the organization; combined with your extreme organizational traits, the majority of rumors concerning you say that you are completely insane. 6) HUMAN RESOURCES Ironically, given your access to confidential information, you tend to be the biggest gossip within the organization. Possibly the only other person that does less work than marketing, you are unable to return any calls today because you have to get a haircut, have lunch AND then mail a letter. 7) MANAGEMENT/MIDDLE MANAGEMENT Catty, cutthroat, yet completely! spineless, you are destined to remain at your current job for! the res t of your life. Unable to make a single decision you tend to measure your worth by the number of meetings you can schedule for yourself. Best suited to marry other "Middle Managers" as everyone in your social circle is a "Middle Manager." 8) SENIOR MANAGEMENT (See above - Same sign, different title) 9) CUSTOMER SERVICE Bright, cheery, positive, you are a fifty-cent cab ride from taking your own life. As children very few of you asked your parents for a little cubicle for your room and a headset so you could pretend to play "Customer Service." Continually passed over for promotions, your best bet is to sleep with your manager. 10) CONSULTANT Lacking any specific knowledge, you use acronyms to avoid revealing your utter lack of experience. You have convinced yourself that your "skills" are in demand and that you could get a higher paying job with any other organization in a heartbeat. You will spend an eternity contemplating these career opport! unities without ever taking direct action. 11) RECRUITER, "HEADHUNTER" As a "person" that profits from the success of others, most people who actually work for a living disdain you. Paid on commission and susceptible to alcoholism, your ulcers and frequent heart attacks correspond directly with fluctuations in the stock market. 12) PARTNER, PRESIDENT, CEO You are brilliant or lucky. Your inability to figure out complex systems such as the fax machine suggest the latter. 13) GOVERNMENT WORKER Paid to take days off. Government workers are genius inventors, like the invention of new Holidays. They usually suffer from deep depression or anxiety and usually commit serious crimes while on the job...Thus the term "GO POSTAL" BABE AND HUNK OF THE DAY Daily Babe: Click Here Daily Hunk: Click Here Please help pass on the laughs - forward this email to your friends and co-workers. TO SUBSCRIBE TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here TO CANCEL YOUR SUBSCRIPTION TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here For comments or suggestions, please use our Contact Form | ||||
Jan 27, 2010
Redneck Marriage
How can you tell if a redneck is married?
There is tobacco spit stains on BOTH sides of his pickup truck.
There is tobacco spit stains on BOTH sides of his pickup truck.
Rednecks at School
You can tell when you're a Redneck when you walk with your son to school because you're in the same grade.
Jan 26, 2010
Before and After Marriage - Medium (26-01-2010)
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Before and After Marriage Before - You take my breath away. After - I feel like I'm suffocating. Before - Twice a night. After - Twice a month. Before - She loves the way I take control of a Situation. After - She called me a controlling, manipulative, egomaniac. Before - Ricky & Lucy. After - Fred & Ethel. Before - Saturday Night Live. After - Monday Night Football. Before - He makes me feel like a million dollars. After - If I had a dime for every stupid thing he's done... Before - Don't Stop. After - Don't Start. Before - The Sound of Music. After - The Sound of Silence. Before - Is that all you are eating? After - Maybe you should just have a salad, honey. Before - Wheel of Fortune. After - Jeopardy. Before - It's like living a dream. After - It's a nightmare. Before - $60/dozen. After - $1.50/stem. Before -! Turbocharged. After - Needs a jump-start Before - We agree on everything! After - Doesn't she have a mind of her own? Before - Victoria's Secret. After - Fruit of the Loom. Before - Feathers & handcuffs. After - Ball and chain. Before - Idol. After - Idle. Before - He's lost without me. After - Why can't he ask for directions? Before - When together, time stands still. After - This relationship is going nowhere. Before - Croissant and cappuccino. After - Bagels and instant coffee. Before - Oysters. After - Fishsticks. Before - I can hardly believe we found each other. After - How the hell did I end up with someone like you? Before - Romeo and Juliet. After - Bill and Hillary.. BABE AND HUNK OF THE DAY Daily Babe: Click Here Daily Hunk: Click Here Please help pass on the laughs - forward this email to your friends and co-workers. TO SUBSCRIBE TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here TO CANCEL YOUR SUBSCRIPTION TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here For comments or suggestions, please use our Contact Form | ||||
Jan 24, 2010
Learned from Noah and the Ark - Clean (24-01-2010)
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Learned from Noah and the Ark 1. Don't miss the boat. 2. Try to remember that we're all in the same boat. 3. Plan ahead. It wasn't raining when Noah built the ark, you know. 4. Stay fit. When you're 600 years old, someone might ask you to do something REALLY big. 5. Don't listen to critics, just get on with what has to be done. 6. Build your future on high ground. 7. For safety's sake, travel in pairs. 8. Two heads are better than one. 9. Speed isn't always an advantage; after all, the snails were on board with the cheetahs. 10. When you're stressed, try floating awhile. 11. Remember that the ark was built by amateurs; it was the Titanic that was built by professionals. 12. Remember that woodpeckers inside are a larger threat than storms outside. 13. No matter what the difficulty, trust in the Almighty: There'll be a rainbow at the end of the storm. BABE AND HUNK OF THE DAY Daily Babe: Click Here Daily Hunk: Click Here Please help pass on the laughs - forward this email to your friends and co-workers. TO SUBSCRIBE TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here TO CANCEL YOUR SUBSCRIPTION TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here For comments or suggestions, please use our Contact Form | ||||
Jan 21, 2010
Things only a Mother can Teach - Clean (21-01-2010)
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Things only a Mother can Teach 1. My Mother taught me about ANTICIPATION... "Just wait until your father gets home." 2. My Mother taught me about RECEIVING.... "You are going to get it when we get home!" 3. My Mother taught me to MEET A CHALLENGE... "What were you thinking? Answer me when I talk to you ... Don't talk back to me!" 4. My Mother taught me LOGIC... "If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, your not going to the store with me." 5. My Mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE... "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way." 6. My Mother taught me to THINK AHEAD... "If you don't pass your spelling test, you'll never get a good job." 7. My Mother taught me ESP... "Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you're cold?" 8. My Mother taught me HUMOR... "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me." 9. My Mother tau! ght me how to BECOME AN ADULT... "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up." 10. My Mother taught me about SEX.... "How do you think you got here?" 11. My Mother taught me about GENETICS... "You're just like your father." 12. My Mother taught me about my ROOTS... "Do you think you were born in a barn?" 13. My Mother taught me about WISDOM OF AGE... "When you get to be my age, you will understand." 14. And my all time favorite... JUSTICE... "One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you... then you'll see what it's like" BABE AND HUNK OF THE DAY Daily Babe: Click Here Daily Hunk: Click Here Please help pass on the laughs - forward this email to your friends and co-workers. TO SUBSCRIBE TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here TO CANCEL YOUR SUBSCRIPTION TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here For comments or suggestions, please use our Contact Form | ||||
Jan 19, 2010
Strange - Clean (19-01-2010)
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Strange A lawyer named Strange died, and his friend asked the tombstone maker to inscribe on his tombstone, "Here lies Strange, an honest man, and a lawyer." The inscriber insisted that such an inscription would be confusing, for passers-by would tend to think that three men were buried under the stone. However he suggested an alternative. He would inscribe, "Here lies a man who was both honest and a lawyer." "That way, whenever anyone walked by the tombstone and read it, they would be certain to remark, 'That's Strange.'" BABE AND HUNK OF THE DAY Daily Babe: Click Here Daily Hunk: Click Here Please help pass on the laughs - forward this email to your friends and co-workers. TO SUBSCRIBE TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here TO CANCEL YOUR SUBSCRIPTION TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here For comments or suggestions, please use our Contact Form | ||||
Jan 17, 2010
My Pilot Light Is Out - Mature (17-01-2010)
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My Pilot Light Is Out My nookie days are over, My pilot light is out, What used to be my sex appeal, Is now my water spout. Time was when, on its own accord, From my trousers it would spring, But now I've got a full-time job, To find the blasted thing. It used to be embarrassing, The way it would behave, For every single morning, It would stand and watch me shave. Now as old age approaches, It sure gives me the blues, To see it hang its little head, And watch me tie my shoes! BABE AND HUNK OF THE DAY Daily Babe: Click Here Daily Hunk: Click Here Please help pass on the laughs - forward this email to your friends and co-workers. TO SUBSCRIBE TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here TO CANCEL YOUR SUBSCRIPTION TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here For comments or suggestions, please use our Contact Form | ||||
Jan 14, 2010
The Talking Dog - Clean (14-01-2010)
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The Talking Dog A man walks into a bar with his dog and puts the dog on a barstool. The bartender asks the man what he wants to drink. "I'll have a bourbon and Coke!" The man then turns to his dog and asks, "What are you going to have, Rover?" "I'll have a Scotch and soda -- light on the soda," says Rover. The bartender is skeptical about the dog talking. "Come on," he says, "that dog can't talk -- you're a ventriloquist!" "No, Rover can really talk! While I am in the restroom, you can have a conversation with him yourself -- but don't let him out of your sight. He is a very valuable dog." The man goes to the restroom. When he returns, the dog is gone. "Hey, where's my dog? I told you not to let him out of your sight." "Aw, I didn't believe that Rover could talk, so I gave him a quarter and sent him to the drug store to buy me a paper." "Let's go look for him," said the man. The two! went to the drugstore -- no Rover. They walked up and down nearby alleys and streets -- no dog! Finally, they found Rover in an alley on top of another dog, pumping away. Pointing his finger at Rover, the man says angrily, "How come you are doing this? You have never done this before!" "First time I ever had any money!" BABE AND HUNK OF THE DAY Daily Babe: Click Here Daily Hunk: Click Here Please help pass on the laughs - forward this email to your friends and co-workers. TO SUBSCRIBE TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here TO CANCEL YOUR SUBSCRIPTION TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here For comments or suggestions, please use our Contact Form | ||||
Jan 12, 2010
Custer\'s Last Thoughts - Mature (12-01-2010)
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Custer\'s Last Thoughts An eccentric billionaire wanted a mural painted on his library wall, so he called an artist. Describing what he wanted, the billionaire said, "I am a history buff, and I would like your interpretation of the last thing that went through Custer's mind before he died. I am going out of town on business for a week, and when I return, I expect to see it completed." Upon his return, the billionaire went to the library to examine the finished work. To his surprise, he found a painting of a cow with a halo. Surrounding this were hundreds of Indians in various sexual positions. Furious, he called the artist in. "What the hell is this?" screamed the billionaire. "Why, that's exactly what you asked for," said the artist smugly. "No! I didn't ask for a mural of pornographic filth. I asked for an interpretation of Custer's last thoughts!" "And there you have it," said the artist. "I call it, 'Holy cow, look at all those! fucking Indians.'" BABE AND HUNK OF THE DAY Daily Babe: Click Here Daily Hunk: Click Here Please help pass on the laughs - forward this email to your friends and co-workers. TO SUBSCRIBE TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here TO CANCEL YOUR SUBSCRIPTION TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here For comments or suggestions, please use our Contact Form | ||||
Jan 10, 2010
The Art Of Selling Toothbrushes - Clean (10-01-2010)
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The Art Of Selling Toothbrushes The President of Acme Toothbrushes is packing up his files and papers in anticipation of his Friday afternoon round of golf, when suddenly his desk intercom buzzes. "There's a gentleman here to see you, sir," his secretary says. "He's here for the sales position." Grumbling unhappily, the President tells the secretary to send the man in. In walks this man -- short, ugly, balding, and speaking with a strange harelip. "I'm here for the job," he says. "Fine" says the President. "You have a one-week trial period. Pick up the toothbrushes outside." With that, he leaves. One week later, the short man shows up again. "Well?" says the CEO. "Not so good, sir. I only sold 5 toothbrushes. But give me one more week! I'll do better! I'll be the best damn salesman in your company!" "Fine. Go and sell them then." The following week, the short man shows up at the office again and proclaims, "I sold 2,000! toothbrushes!" "What?! How did you do that?" "Well, it was quite simple. I went to the airport, you see, and I set up a table for the people coming off the plane. I had a bowl of chips at one end, toothbrushes in the middle and dip at the other end. They would take a chip, walk past the toothbrushes, and get some dip. I'd ask them, 'How's the dip?' They'd say, 'It tastes like SHIT!' And I'd say, 'It is! Want to buy a toothbrush?" BABE AND HUNK OF THE DAY Daily Babe: Click Here Daily Hunk: Click Here Please help pass on the laughs - forward this email to your friends and co-workers. TO SUBSCRIBE TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here TO CANCEL YOUR SUBSCRIPTION TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here For comments or suggestions, please use our Contact Form | ||||
Jan 7, 2010
How Old Am I? - Mature (07-01-2010)
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How Old Am I? A man decides to have a face-lift for his birthday. He spends $5,000 and feels really good about the results. On his way home, he stops at a newsstand and buys a paper. Before leaving, he says to the sales clerk, "I hope you don't mind me asking, but how old do you think I am?" "About 35," was the reply. "I'm actually 47," the man says, feeling really happy. After that, he goes into McDonalds for lunch and asks the clerk the same question. The reply is, "Oh, you look about 29". "I am actually 47." Later, while standing at a bus stop, he asks an old woman the same question. She replies, "I am 85 years old, and my eyesight is going. But when I was young, there was a sure way of telling a man's age. If I put my hand down your pants and play with your balls for 10 minutes, I will be able to tell you your exact age." As there was no one around, the man thinks, What the hell and lets! her slip her hand down his pants. Ten minutes later, the old lady says, "Okay, it's done. You are 47." Stunned, the man says, "That was brilliant. How did you do that?" The old lady replies, "I was behind you at McDonalds." BABE AND HUNK OF THE DAY Daily Babe: Click Here Daily Hunk: Click Here Please help pass on the laughs - forward this email to your friends and co-workers. TO SUBSCRIBE TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here TO CANCEL YOUR SUBSCRIPTION TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here For comments or suggestions, please use our Contact Form | ||||
Jan 5, 2010
Before the Guests Arrive - Medium (05-01-2010)
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Before the Guests Arrive On News Years Eve, a thin and bony husband is walking around in the house wearing only his boxers. His wife comes out of the kitchen and says, "Hey, the guests are gonna be here any minute. Go and put something on." "Oh no, I won't," he says. "I want everybody to see how you feed your husband..." "Really? Then take your boxers off, too, and show everyone that there's nothing that I should feed you for." BABE AND HUNK OF THE DAY Daily Babe: Click Here Daily Hunk: Click Here Please help pass on the laughs - forward this email to your friends and co-workers. TO SUBSCRIBE TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here TO CANCEL YOUR SUBSCRIPTION TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here For comments or suggestions, please use our Contact Form | ||||
Jan 3, 2010
The Honeymoon - Mature (03-01-2010)
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The Honeymoon A groom and his newlywed wife go to the Hilton on their honeymoon. They check in at the front, and the receptionist gives the groom a key to the bridal suite. The whole evening, the people in the next room are phoning down to the main desk to complain about the moaning, which doesn't stop for one minute the whole night. The next morning at 6 a.m., the groom calls room service. "Hi, could I get some breakfast brought up here?" "Sure, what would you like?" asks room service. The groom says, "Well, I have to replace all the energy I lost last night, so you'd better get me 6 fried eggs, 9 sausages, 12 slices of toast, and 6 liters of orange juice." Room service replies, "Gee, that's quite an appetite you have there. Is that for your wife as well, or just for you?" "No, that's just for me. Can you send up six pieces of lettuce for my wife as well?" Room service asks, "Why six pieces of lettuce?" BABE AND HUNK OF THE DAY Daily Babe: Click Here Daily Hunk: Click Here Please help pass on the laughs - forward this email to your friends and co-workers. TO SUBSCRIBE TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here TO CANCEL YOUR SUBSCRIPTION TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here For comments or suggestions, please use our Contact Form | ||||
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