About Two Hours - Clean (31-08-2010)

Daily Joke Visit The-Jokes.com Follow us on TWITTER! You can now follow us on TWITTER with the funniest short jokes and one-liners. Just open a Twitter.com account (if you don't have one) and follow us to receive our updates! Click Here About Two Hours A drunken Irishman gets on a train and asks the conductor how long the trip is between Limerick to Cork. "About two hours," says the conductor. "Okay," says the drunkard, "then how long is the trip between Cork to Limerick?" The irate conductor says to the drunk "It's still about two hours, laddie. Why'd ya think there'd be a difference?" "Well," says the drunk, "it's only a week between Christmas and New Year's, but it's a helluva long time between New Year's and Christmas! BABE AND HUNK OF THE DAY Daily Babe: Click Here Daily Hunk: Click Here Please help pass on the laughs - forward this email to your friends and co-workers. TO SUBSCRIBE TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here TO CANCEL YOUR SUBSCRIPTION TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here For comments or suggestions, please use our Contact Form The-Jokes.com © 2001-2009. All rights reserved.

Four Fingers - Mature (29-08-2010)

Daily Joke Visit The-Jokes.com Follow us on TWITTER! You can now follow us on TWITTER with the funniest short jokes and one-liners. Just open a Twitter.com account (if you don't have one) and follow us to receive our updates! Click Here Four Fingers Sean and Jason were in a bar, and they went into the toilet to take a leak. While standing at the urinal Sean confessed, "I wish I had a dick like my cousin James. He needs four fingers to hold his." Jason looked over and pointed out, "But you're holding yours with four fingers." "I know," said Sean, "but I'm peeing on three of them." BABE AND HUNK OF THE DAY Daily Babe: Click Here Daily Hunk: Click Here Please help pass on the laughs - forward this email to your friends and co-workers. TO SUBSCRIBE TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here TO CANCEL YOUR SUBSCRIPTION TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here For comments or suggestions, please use our Contact Form The-Jokes.com © 2001-2009. All rights reserved.

Three Old Men - Clean (26-08-2010)

Daily Joke Visit The-Jokes.com Follow us on TWITTER! You can now follow us on TWITTER with the funniest short jokes and one-liners. Just open a Twitter.com account (if you don't have one) and follow us to receive our updates! Click Here Three Old Men Three old men are at the doctor for a memory test. The doctor says to the first old man, "What is three times three?" "274" was his reply. The doctor worriedly says to the second man, "It's your turn. What is three times three?" "Tuesday" replies the second man. The doctor sadly says to the third man, "Okay, your turn. What's three times three"? "Nine" says the third man. "That's great!" exclaims the doctor. "How did you get that"? "Jeez, Doc, it's pretty simple," says the third man. "I just subtracted 274 from Tuesday." BABE AND HUNK OF THE DAY Daily Babe: Click Here Daily Hunk: Click Here Please help pass on the laughs - forward this email to your friends and co-workers. TO SUBSCRIBE TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here TO CANCEL YOUR SUBSCRIPTION TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here For comments or suggestions, please use our Contact Form The-Jokes.com © 2001-2009. All rights reserved.

Hunting Bears - Clean (24-08-2010)

Daily Joke Visit The-Jokes.com Follow us on TWITTER! You can now follow us on TWITTER with the funniest short jokes and one-liners. Just open a Twitter.com account (if you don't have one) and follow us to receive our updates! Click Here Hunting Bears A Pole and a Chezck go bear hunting. When they don't come back their friend go looking for them. They find two tracks leading into the wood and follow them to a clearing. There are two guns on the ground and blood all over and they realize that the bears must have eaten their friends. There is a loud crashing noise and a much roaring and the two bears (a male and a female) rush them. Blasting away with the guns the friends kill the female while the male gets away. They find on cutting open the female the remains of their Polish friend. This can only mean one thing... The Chezck is in the male Thanks to: Ted Kelly BABE AND HUNK OF THE DAY Daily Babe: Click Here Daily Hunk: Click Here Please help pass on the laughs - forward this email to your friends and co-workers. TO SUBSCRIBE TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here TO CANCEL YOUR SUBSCRIPTION TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here For comments or suggestions, please use our Contact Form The-Jokes.com © 2001-2009. All rights reserved.

The ventriloquist cowboy - Medium (22-08-2010)

Daily Joke Visit The-Jokes.com Follow us on TWITTER! You can now follow us on TWITTER with the funniest short jokes and one-liners. Just open a Twitter.com account (if you don't have one) and follow us to receive our updates! Click Here The ventriloquist cowboy A ventriloquist cowboy walks into town and sees an Indian sitting near his pad. Cowboy: Hey, cool dog. Mind if I speak to him? Indian: Dog no talk. Cowboy: Hey dog, how's it going? Dog: Doin' all right. Indian: [Extreme look of shock] Cowboy: Is this your owner? [pointing at Indian] Dog: Yep Cowboy: How's he treating you? Dog: Real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food, and takes me to the lake once a week to play. Indian: [look of disbelief] Cowboy: Mind if I talk to your horse? Indian: Horse no talk. Cowboy: Hey horse, how's it going? Horse: Cool. Indian: [extreme look of shock] Cowboy: Is this your owner? [pointing at Indian] Horse: Yep Cowboy: How's he treating you? Horse: Pretty good, thanks for asking. He rides me regularly, brushes me down of! ten, and keeps me in the barn to protect me from the elements. Indian: [total look of amazement] Cowboy: Mind if I talk to your sheep? Indian: Sheep lie! BABE AND HUNK OF THE DAY Daily Babe: Click Here Daily Hunk: Click Here Please help pass on the laughs - forward this email to your friends and co-workers. TO SUBSCRIBE TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here TO CANCEL YOUR SUBSCRIPTION TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here For comments or suggestions, please use our Contact Form The-Jokes.com © 2001-2009. All rights reserved.

Remote Control - Clean (19-08-2010)

Daily Joke Visit The-Jokes.com Follow us on TWITTER! You can now follow us on TWITTER with the funniest short jokes and one-liners. Just open a Twitter.com account (if you don't have one) and follow us to receive our updates! Click Here Remote Control "Cash, check or charge?" the cashier asked after folding items the woman wished to purchase. As the woman fumbled for her wallet, the cashier noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse. "Do you always carry your TV remote?" the cashier asked. "No," she replied. "But my husband refused to come shopping with me, so I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him." BABE AND HUNK OF THE DAY Daily Babe: Click Here Daily Hunk: Click Here Please help pass on the laughs - forward this email to your friends and co-workers. TO SUBSCRIBE TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here TO CANCEL YOUR SUBSCRIPTION TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here For comments or suggestions, please use our Contact Form The-Jokes.com © 2001-2009. All rights reserved.

Milk - Medium (17-08-2010)

Daily Joke Visit The-Jokes.com Follow us on TWITTER! You can now follow us on TWITTER with the funniest short jokes and one-liners. Just open a Twitter.com account (if you don't have one) and follow us to receive our updates! Click Here Milk There were three guys hitchiking along the roads of a plain, boring field because their car overheated from the long drive. Exhausted, hungry, and thirsty from the long walk, they were desperately willing to stay over anywhere. Fortunately, they saw about a mile ahead of them a cow ranch, filled with hundreds of cows. They decided to stay there for the night. So they looked for the main office to ask the ranch owner if they could stay for the night. However, the ranch owner left for the day and no one was there. Too tired from their journey, they decided rather to sleep with the cows than walk forever. They each slept under a cow. One guy said, "I'm hungry and thirsty, what will we eat and drink?" Another guy suggested to drink the milk from the cow since they were lying beneath the milk sac. So they began to suck and drink. The first guy said, "My cow's milk is so good, I finished it all and now I'm full." The second guy said, "M! y cow's milk is so good, I finished it all and now I'm full." The third guy said, "My cow's milk doesn't taste quite right." The first and second guy then said to the third guy, "Well, try another nipple, that one probably has no more milk." The third guy in a confused state exclaimed, "But how come my cow has only one, long, nipple!?" BABE AND HUNK OF THE DAY Daily Babe: Click Here Daily Hunk: Click Here Please help pass on the laughs - forward this email to your friends and co-workers. TO SUBSCRIBE TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here TO CANCEL YOUR SUBSCRIPTION TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here For comments or suggestions, please use our Contact Form The-Jokes.com © 2001-2009. All rights reserved.

The Life Of an Egg - Mature (15-08-2010)

Daily Joke Visit The-Jokes.com Follow us on TWITTER! You can now follow us on TWITTER with the funniest short jokes and one-liners. Just open a Twitter.com account (if you don't have one) and follow us to receive our updates! Click Here The Life Of an Egg So you think your life is bad... Just think how bad the life of an egg is... You only get laid once You only get eaten once It takes 4 minutes to get hard and 2 minutes to get soft You have to share a box with 11 other guys And the only chick that ever sat on your face was your mother Now don't you feel better? Hell no! BABE AND HUNK OF THE DAY Daily Babe: Click Here Daily Hunk: Click Here Please help pass on the laughs - forward this email to your friends and co-workers. TO SUBSCRIBE TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here TO CANCEL YOUR SUBSCRIPTION TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here For comments or suggestions, please use our Contact Form The-Jokes.com © 2001-2009. All rights reserved.

Like a Straw - Clean (12-08-2010)

Daily Joke Visit The-Jokes.com Follow us on TWITTER! You can now follow us on TWITTER with the funniest short jokes and one-liners. Just open a Twitter.com account (if you don't have one) and follow us to receive our updates! Click Here Like a Straw There were these two not so bright guys who had to get across the desert. Since they didn't have enough money for a car they decided to buy a camel. The camel dealer promised them that the camel would get them across the desert if they made sure he was full of water before they left. They took the camel down to the water hole, but the camel would not drink. So finally the first guy says: "I have an idea, why don't I hold his head down in the water and you suck on his butt. That way the water will be drawn up into him like a straw." The second gut thought about this for a while and finally agreed. After a while the first guy asks "Well is it working?" The second guy replied "I think it is going to work, but you have to pick his head up just a little because I'm just getting mud." BABE AND HUNK OF THE DAY Daily Babe: Click Here Daily Hunk: Click Here Please help pass on the laughs - forward this email to your friends and co-workers. TO SUBSCRIBE TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here TO CANCEL YOUR SUBSCRIPTION TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here For comments or suggestions, please use our Contact Form The-Jokes.com © 2001-2009. All rights reserved.

Duck Hunting - Medium (10-08-2010)

Daily Joke Visit The-Jokes.com Follow us on TWITTER! You can now follow us on TWITTER with the funniest short jokes and one-liners. Just open a Twitter.com account (if you don't have one) and follow us to receive our updates! Click Here Duck Hunting One weekend, a man from the city decided to go duck hunting. He headed for the country and stopped at a field that looked as though it could attract ducks. While walking through a field, several ducks flew overhead. He aimed, fired, and shot one of the ducks out of the sky. However, the duck landed on the other side of a large irrigation ditch with no signs of any nearby crossing. He briefly thought about leaving the duck but realized that the weather was becoming worse. Not wanting to return home empty handed, he decided to try and find some way across. About a quarter mile further ahead he found a crossing and, as he walked back along the other side, came across a farmer who was carrying his duck. "Excuse me?" he said, "I believe that's my duck you're carrying." "Oh I don't think so," replied the farmer, "It landed on my property. This here's my duck." They argued back and forth for a few minutes and then the farmer suggested a! solution. "Let's settle this the country way. We'll take turns kicking each other in the balls and the first man to give in, gives up the duck." The hunter thought about it for a minute. At first he questioned the sanity of engaging in a "ball-kicking" contest but felt he was tough enough and accepted the challenge. "Alright then," Said the farmer, "I'll go first." The hunter took a deep breath and prepared himself for the blow. The farmer reared back and kicked the hunter in the balls as hard as he could. The hunter moaned and dropped to the ground, rolling around in pain as he grasped his groin. After several minutes the hunter recovered to his feet, took several deep breaths and said, "Okay, now it's my turn." The farmer looks at the hunter, shakes his head and says, "Oh, that's okay, you can have you're duck." BABE AND HUNK OF THE DAY Daily Babe: Click Here Daily Hunk: Click Here Please help pass on the laughs - forward this email to your friends and co-workers. TO SUBSCRIBE TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here TO CANCEL YOUR SUBSCRIPTION TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here For comments or suggestions, please use our Contact Form The-Jokes.com © 2001-2009. All rights reserved.

Alive! - Clean (08-08-2010)

Daily Joke Visit The-Jokes.com Follow us on TWITTER! You can now follow us on TWITTER with the funniest short jokes and one-liners. Just open a Twitter.com account (if you don't have one) and follow us to receive our updates! Click Here Alive! At the end of the funeral service the pall bearers are carrying the casket out. When they accidentally bump into a wall jarring the casket. They hear a faint moan. They open the casket and find that the woman is actually alive. She lives for ten more years and then dies. A ceremony is again held at the same place and at the end of the ceremony the pall bearers are again carrying out the casket. As they are walking the husband cries out, "watch out for the wall!" BABE AND HUNK OF THE DAY Daily Babe: Click Here Daily Hunk: Click Here Please help pass on the laughs - forward this email to your friends and co-workers. TO SUBSCRIBE TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here TO CANCEL YOUR SUBSCRIPTION TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here For comments or suggestions, please use our Contact Form The-Jokes.com © 2001-2009. All rights reserved.

Blank Copy - Clean (05-08-2010)

Daily Joke Visit The-Jokes.com Follow us on TWITTER! You can now follow us on TWITTER with the funniest short jokes and one-liners. Just open a Twitter.com account (if you don't have one) and follow us to receive our updates! Click Here Blank Copy Several weeks ago, we hired a new blonde secretary who wasn't the brightest crayon in the box. One day when she was typing, she turned to another secretary and said, "I'm almost out of typing paper. What do I do?" "Just use the copier machine paper," the other responded. With that, the blonde took her last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the photocopier, and proceeded to make five blank copies. BABE AND HUNK OF THE DAY Daily Babe: Click Here Daily Hunk: Click Here Please help pass on the laughs - forward this email to your friends and co-workers. TO SUBSCRIBE TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here TO CANCEL YOUR SUBSCRIPTION TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here For comments or suggestions, please use our Contact Form The-Jokes.com © 2001-2009. All rights reserved.

New Bike - Clean (03-08-2010)

Daily Joke Visit The-Jokes.com Follow us on TWITTER! You can now follow us on TWITTER with the funniest short jokes and one-liners. Just open a Twitter.com account (if you don't have one) and follow us to receive our updates! Click Here New Bike Little Leroy went to his mother demanding a new bicycle. His Mother decided that he should take a look at himself and the way he acts. She said, "Well, Leroy, it isn't Christmas and we don't have the money to just go out and buy you anything you want. Why don't you write a letter to Jesus and pray for one instead?" After Leroy threw a temper tantrum, his mother sent him to his room, where he finally sat down to write a letter to Jesus. Dear Jesus, I've been a good boy this year and would appreciate a new bicycle. Your friend, Leroy. Now, Leroy knew that Jesus really understood what kind of boy he was - a brat - so Leroy ripped up the letter and decided to give it another try. Dear Jesus, I've been an OK boy this year, and I want a new bicycle. Yours truly, Leroy Well, Leroy knew this wasn't totally honest either, so he tore it up and tried again. Dear Jesus, I've thought about being a good boy this year, and c! an I have a bicycle? Leroy Leroy looked deep down into his heart (which, by the way, was what his mother really wanted). He knew he had been terrible and was deserving of almost nothing. He crumpled up the letter, threw it in the trash can, and went running outside. He aimlessly wandered about the streets, depressed because of the way he had treated his parents. For the first time, he really considered his actions. Leroy finally found himself in front of a Catholic Church. He went inside and knelt down, looking around but not knowing what he should really do. Leroy finally got up and began to walk out the door and was looking at all the statues. All of a sudden, he grabbed a small statue and ran out the door. He went home, hid it under his bed, and wrote this letter: Jesus, I've got your mama. If you ever want to see her again, give me a bike. From, You know who.?" BABE AND HUNK OF THE DAY Daily Babe: Click Here Daily Hunk: Click Here Please help pass on the laughs - forward this email to your friends and co-workers. TO SUBSCRIBE TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here TO CANCEL YOUR SUBSCRIPTION TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here For comments or suggestions, please use our Contact Form The-Jokes.com © 2001-2009. All rights reserved.

Hairspray - Medium (01-08-2010)

Daily Joke Visit The-Jokes.com Follow us on TWITTER! You can now follow us on TWITTER with the funniest short jokes and one-liners. Just open a Twitter.com account (if you don't have one) and follow us to receive our updates! Click Here Hairspray There was a little boy playing in his front yard, and his grandpa was sitting on the porch watching his grandson play. The grandfather saw the little boy pull a worm out of the ground, so the grandfather went up to his grandson and said, "Hey son, I'll give you five dollars if you can stick that worm back into the hole you pulled it out of." The little boy thought it would be easy enough, so he tried. After awhile, the boy was about to give up, but suddenly he ran inside and got a can of his grandmother's hair spray. He sprayed it all over the worm and let it dry and then he stuck it back into the hole. The grandpa said, "Well, boy that's a neat trick, here's your five dollars." The next day, the little boy was playing again, and the grandfather came up to him and handed him another five dollars. The little boy said, "What is this for?" The grandfather said, "Your grandmother thought it was a neat trick too!" BABE AND HUNK OF THE DAY Daily Babe: Click Here Daily Hunk: Click Here Please help pass on the laughs - forward this email to your friends and co-workers. TO SUBSCRIBE TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here TO CANCEL YOUR SUBSCRIPTION TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here For comments or suggestions, please use our Contact Form The-Jokes.com © 2001-2009. All rights reserved.