| Visit The-Jokes.com Birds and the Bees A father asked his 10 year old son if he knew about the birds and the bees. "I don't want to know!" the child said, bursting into tears. "Promise me you won't tell me." Confused, the father asked what was wrong. "Oh dad," the boy sobbed, "when I was 6 I got the there's no Santa speech. At 7, I got the there's no Easter Bunny speech. When I Was 8, you hit me with the there's no Tooth Fairy' speech. If you tell me that grown-ups don't really f..k, I'll have nothing left to live for. BABE AND HUNK OF THE DAY Daily Babe: Click Here Daily Hunk: Click Here Please help pass on the laughs - forward this email to your friends and co-workers. TO SUBSCRIBE TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here TO CANCEL YOUR SUBSCRIPTION TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here For comments or suggestions, please use our Contact Form |
Jan 30, 2011
Birds and the Bees - Mature (30-01-2011)
Jan 27, 2011
Hebrew wisdom - Mature (27-01-2011)
| Visit The-Jokes.com Hebrew wisdom A team of archeologists is excavating in Israel when they find a cave with the symbols of a woman, a donkey, a shovel, a fish, and a Star of David on the wall. The head archeologist points to the first drawing. "This indicates that these people were family oriented and held women in high esteem." he says. "The donkey shows they were smart enough to use animals to till the soil. The shovel means they were able to forge tools. Even further proof of high intelligence is the fish: If famine hit the earth, they would take to the sea for food. The last symbol is the Star of David, telling us they were Hebrews." The second archeologist shakes his head. "Hebrew is read from right to left," he explains. "It says, 'Holy Mackerel, Dig the Ass on that Chick!'" BABE AND HUNK OF THE DAY Daily Babe: Click Here Daily Hunk: Click Here Please help pass on the laughs - forward this email to your friends and co-workers. TO SUBSCRIBE TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here TO CANCEL YOUR SUBSCRIPTION TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here For comments or suggestions, please use our Contact Form |
Jan 25, 2011
Animal sounds - Clean (25-01-2011)
| Visit The-Jokes.com Animal sounds A librarian is working away at her desk when she notices that a chicken has come into the library and is patiently waiting in front of the desk. When the chicken sees that it has the librarian's attention, it squawks, "Book, book, book, BOOK!" The librarian complies, putting a couple of books down in front of the chicken. The chicken quickly grabs them and disappears. The next day, the librarian is again disturbed by the same chicken, who puts the previous day's pile of books down on the desk and again squawks, "Book, book, book, BOOK!" The librarian shakes her head, wondering what the chicken is doing with these books, but eventually finds some more books for the chicken. The chicken disappears. The next day, the librarian is once again disturbed by the chicken, who squawks (in a rather irritated fashion, it seems), "Book, book, book, BOOK!" By now, the librarian's curiosity has gotten the better of her, so she get! s a pile of books for the chicken, and follows the bird when it leaves the library. She follows it through the parking lot, down the street for several blocks, and finally into a large park. The chicken disappears into a small grove of trees, and the librarian follows. On the other side of the trees is a small marsh. The chicken has stopped on the side of the marsh. The librarian, now really curious, hurries over and sees that there is a small frog next to the chicken, examining each book, one at a time. The librarian comes within earshot just in time to hear the frog saying, "Read it, read it, read it..." BABE AND HUNK OF THE DAY Daily Babe: Click Here Daily Hunk: Click Here Please help pass on the laughs - forward this email to your friends and co-workers. TO SUBSCRIBE TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here TO CANCEL YOUR SUBSCRIPTION TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here For comments or suggestions, please use our Contact Form |
Jan 23, 2011
Staying connected - Medium (23-01-2011)
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Staying connected After years of hard work, an ambitious yuppie books himself on a Caribbean cruise. He has the time of his life until the boat sinks and he ends up on a desert island. A month later the man looks out to sea and sees a gorgeous woman rowing to shore. He asks her where she's come from. "I was shipwrecked last year," she says. "I've been stranded on the other side of the island." "Where did you get the rowboat?" "I made it out of gum trees and palm branches," she replies. "But you had no tools!" he says. "I used volcanic rocks to whittle the wood, and eucalyptus jelly as glue." The woman takes the man to the other side of the island and leads him into an elaborate bungalow with ceiling fans and furniture she made out of vines. The man can't believe his eyes. They sit down, and she smiles at him. "Now, tell me," she says, looking deep into his eyes. "Is there something you've been desiring while you've been alone? ! You know..." "Do you mean," he whispers, "I can check my E-mail from here!?!" BABE AND HUNK OF THE DAY Daily Babe: Click Here Daily Hunk: Click Here Please help pass on the laughs - forward this email to your friends and co-workers. TO SUBSCRIBE TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here TO CANCEL YOUR SUBSCRIPTION TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here For comments or suggestions, please use our Contact Form | ||||
Jan 20, 2011
One word at a time - Clean (20-01-2011)
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One word at a time A guy walks into a bar, orders a beer and says to the bartender, "Hey, I got this great Polish Joke..." The barkeep glares at him and says in a warning tone of voice: "Before you go telling that joke you better know that I'm Polish, both bouncers are Polish and so are most of my customers." "Okay" says the customer,"I'll tell it very slowly." BABE AND HUNK OF THE DAY Daily Babe: Click Here Daily Hunk: Click Here Please help pass on the laughs - forward this email to your friends and co-workers. TO SUBSCRIBE TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here TO CANCEL YOUR SUBSCRIPTION TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here For comments or suggestions, please use our Contact Form | ||||
Jan 18, 2011
Graveyard Giggles - Clean (18-01-2011)
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Graveyard Giggles A man and his son were walking through a cemetery. The boy asked, "Daddy, do they bury two people in the same grave?" The father said, "Two people? Let me look." So the father took a look, and sure enough, the marker said, "Here lies a symphony conductor and a humble man." BABE AND HUNK OF THE DAY Daily Babe: Click Here Daily Hunk: Click Here Please help pass on the laughs - forward this email to your friends and co-workers. TO SUBSCRIBE TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here TO CANCEL YOUR SUBSCRIPTION TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here For comments or suggestions, please use our Contact Form | ||||
Jan 16, 2011
Testing the tickle - Mature (16-01-2011)
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Testing the tickle A woman desperately looking for work went into a factory. The personnel manager looked over her resume and regretfully explained to her that he had nothing worthy of her talents. The woman answered that she really needed work and would take almost anything. The personnel manager hemmed and hawed and finally said that he did have a low-skill job on the Tickle Me Elmo line, but nothing else. The woman happily accepted his offer. He took her down to the line, explained her duties, and told her to report at 8:00 AM the next day. The next day at 8:45 there was a knock at the personnel manager's door. The Tickle Me Elmo line manager came in and started ranting about the woman who had just been hired. After listening to how badly backed up the assembly line was, the personnel manager suggested that the line manager show him the problem. Together they went down to the line and, sure enough, Elmos were backed up from here to kingdom come. Right at ! the end of the line was the woman who had just been hired. She had pulled over a roll of the material used for the Elmos, and had a big bag of marbles. They both watched as she cut a little piece of fabric, took two marbles, and started sewing them between Elmo's legs. The personnel manager started laughing uncontrollably. Finally, he pulled himself together, walked over to the new employee, and said, "I'm sorry. I guess you misunderstood me yesterday. What I wanted you to do was give Elmo two test tickles." BABE AND HUNK OF THE DAY Daily Babe: Click Here Daily Hunk: Click Here Please help pass on the laughs - forward this email to your friends and co-workers. TO SUBSCRIBE TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here TO CANCEL YOUR SUBSCRIPTION TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here For comments or suggestions, please use our Contact Form | ||||
Jan 13, 2011
Testing the tickle - Mature (13-01-2011)
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Testing the tickle A woman desperately looking for work went into a factory. The personnel manager looked over her resume and regretfully explained to her that he had nothing worthy of her talents. The woman answered that she really needed work and would take almost anything. The personnel manager hemmed and hawed and finally said that he did have a low-skill job on the Tickle Me Elmo line, but nothing else. The woman happily accepted his offer. He took her down to the line, explained her duties, and told her to report at 8:00 AM the next day. The next day at 8:45 there was a knock at the personnel manager's door. The Tickle Me Elmo line manager came in and started ranting about the woman who had just been hired. After listening to how badly backed up the assembly line was, the personnel manager suggested that the line manager show him the problem. Together they went down to the line and, sure enough, Elmos were backed up from here to kingdom come. Right at ! the end of the line was the woman who had just been hired. She had pulled over a roll of the material used for the Elmos, and had a big bag of marbles. They both watched as she cut a little piece of fabric, took two marbles, and started sewing them between Elmo's legs. The personnel manager started laughing uncontrollably. Finally, he pulled himself together, walked over to the new employee, and said, "I'm sorry. I guess you misunderstood me yesterday. What I wanted you to do was give Elmo two test tickles." BABE AND HUNK OF THE DAY Daily Babe: Click Here Daily Hunk: Click Here Please help pass on the laughs - forward this email to your friends and co-workers. TO SUBSCRIBE TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here TO CANCEL YOUR SUBSCRIPTION TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here For comments or suggestions, please use our Contact Form | ||||
Jan 11, 2011
It\'s a rough life - Mature (11-01-2011)
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It\'s a rough life There was a man who really took care of his body. He lifted weights and jogged six miles every day. One morning he looked into the mirror, admiring his body, and noticed that he was suntanned all over with the exception of his penis. So he decided to do something about that. He went to the beach, undressed completely, and buried himself in the sand, except for his penis, which he left sticking out of the sand. A bit later, two little old ladies came strolling along the beach, one using a cane to help her get along. Upon seeing the thing sticking out of the sand, the lady with the cane began to move the penis around with her cane. Remarking to the other little old lady, she said, "There really is no justice in the world." The other little old lady asked, "What do you mean by that?" The first little old lady replied, "Look at that. When I was 20, I was curious about it. When I was 30, I enjoyed it. When I was 40, I as! ked for it. When I was 50, I paid for it. When I was 60, I prayed for it. When I was 70, I forgot about it. Now that I'm 80, the damned things are growing wild, and I'm too old to squat." BABE AND HUNK OF THE DAY Daily Babe: Click Here Daily Hunk: Click Here Please help pass on the laughs - forward this email to your friends and co-workers. TO SUBSCRIBE TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here TO CANCEL YOUR SUBSCRIPTION TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here For comments or suggestions, please use our Contact Form | ||||
Jan 9, 2011
Psychotherapist - Clean (09-01-2011)
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Psychotherapist A psychotherapist, starting from scratch, was having such success in his business that he could now afford to have a proper shop banner advertising his wares. So he told a kid to paint the sign board for him and put it above his shop entrance. But, instead of his business building up, it began to slacken. He had especially noticed the ladies shying away from his shop after reading the sign board. So he decided to check it out himself. Then he began to understand why! The boy found a small wooden board so he had to split the word in 3 places. The sign read: Psycho- the- rapist. BABE AND HUNK OF THE DAY Daily Babe: Click Here Daily Hunk: Click Here Please help pass on the laughs - forward this email to your friends and co-workers. TO SUBSCRIBE TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here TO CANCEL YOUR SUBSCRIPTION TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here For comments or suggestions, please use our Contact Form | ||||
Jan 6, 2011
The fortune teller!! - Clean (06-01-2011)
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The fortune teller!! Adolf Hitler went to see a fortune teller. Hitler asked "What day will i die on?" The fortune teller answered that he will die on a jewish holiday. Hitler asked the fortune teller "How do you know that?" The fortune teller answered "Sir, whatever day you'll die on WILL be a jewiswh holiday!" Thanks to: Hester BABE AND HUNK OF THE DAY Daily Babe: Click Here Daily Hunk: Click Here Please help pass on the laughs - forward this email to your friends and co-workers. TO SUBSCRIBE TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here TO CANCEL YOUR SUBSCRIPTION TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here For comments or suggestions, please use our Contact Form | ||||
Jan 4, 2011
Radio Conversation - Clean (04-01-2011)
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Radio Conversation This is the transcript of an ACTUAL radio conversation of a US naval ship with Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland in October, 1995. Americans: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the North to avoid a collision. Canadians: Recommend you divert YOUR course 15 degrees to the South to avoid a collision. Americans: This is the Captain of a US Navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR course. Canadians: No. I say again, you divert YOUR course. Americans: THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER USS LINCOLN, THE SECOND LARGEST SHIP IN THE UNITED STATES' ATLANTIC FLEET. WE ARE ACCOMPANIED BY THREE DESTROYERS, THREE CRUISERS AND NUMEROUS SUPPORT VESSELS. I DEMAND THAT YOU CHANGE YOUR COURSE 15 DEGREES NORTH, THAT'S ONE FIVE DEGREES NORTH, OR COUNTER-MEASURES WILL BE UNDERTAKEN TO ENSURE THE SAFETY OF THIS SHIP. Canadians: We are a lighthouse. Your call. BABE AND HUNK OF THE DAY Daily Babe: Click Here Daily Hunk: Click Here Please help pass on the laughs - forward this email to your friends and co-workers. TO SUBSCRIBE TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here TO CANCEL YOUR SUBSCRIPTION TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here For comments or suggestions, please use our Contact Form | ||||
Jan 2, 2011
The Mechanical Caddy - Clean (02-01-2011)
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The Mechanical Caddy A man walks into a country club, and asks to play a round of golf. The man behind the counter suggests he try one of their brand new mechanical caddies. The guy had just gotten his paycheck, so he had money to burn, he figured "what the hell". He took the caddy out and it was great, it would tell him what club to use, what was wrong with his swing, and what direction his putts would break and how much. The man gets done, and shoots the best round of his life. A month later he comes back and asks for one of the caddies. The manager replies, "I'm sorry, but we had to get rid of them." The man a little confused asks, "Why did you get rid of them, they were great." The manager explained that they were made out of metal, so when the sun reflected off of them, it blinded the other golfers. Still confused, the man adds, "Well, why didn't you just paint them black?" The manager replies "Well, we tried that, but then 2 of them di! dn't show up for work, and the others robbed the clubhouse." Thanks to: Terry van Hook BABE AND HUNK OF THE DAY Daily Babe: Click Here Daily Hunk: Click Here Please help pass on the laughs - forward this email to your friends and co-workers. TO SUBSCRIBE TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here TO CANCEL YOUR SUBSCRIPTION TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here For comments or suggestions, please use our Contact Form | ||||
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