Lion Tamer - Medium (30-05-2010)

Daily Joke Visit The-Jokes.com Follow us on TWITTER! You can now follow us on TWITTER with the funniest short jokes and one-liners. Just open a Twitter.com account (if you don't have one) and follow us to receive our updates! Click Here Lion Tamer A circus owner ran an ad for a lion tamer, and two young people showed up. One was a good-looking lad in his mid-twenties, and the other was a gorgeous blonde about the same age. The circus owner told them, "I'm not going to sugarcoat it. This is one ferocious lion. He ate my last tamer, so you guys better be good or you're history. Here's your equipment: chair, whip, and a gun. Who wants to try out first?" The girl said, "I'll go first." She walked past the chair, the whip, and the gun and stepped right into the lion's cage. The lion started to snarl and pant and began to charge her. About half way there, she threw open her coat revealing her beautiful naked body. The lion stopped dead in his tracks, sheepishly crawled up to her, and started licking her ankles. He continued to lick her calves, kissed them, and then rested his head at her feet. The circus owner’s mouth was on the floor. He said, "I've never seen a ! display like that in my life." He then turned to the young man and asked, "Can you top that?" The young man replied, "No problem, just get that lion out of the way." BABE AND HUNK OF THE DAY Daily Babe: Click Here Daily Hunk: Click Here Please help pass on the laughs - forward this email to your friends and co-workers. TO SUBSCRIBE TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here TO CANCEL YOUR SUBSCRIPTION TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here For comments or suggestions, please use our Contact Form The-Jokes.com © 2001-2009. All rights reserved.

Moose Hunting - Medium (23-05-2010)

Daily Joke Visit The-Jokes.com Follow us on TWITTER! You can now follow us on TWITTER with the funniest short jokes and one-liners. Just open a Twitter.com account (if you don't have one) and follow us to receive our updates! Click Here Moose Hunting Two hunters went moose hunting every winter without success. Finally, they came up with a foolproof plan. They got a very authentic female moose costume and learned the mating call of a female moose. The plan was to hide in the costume, lure the bull, then come out of the costume and shoot it. They set themselves up on the edge of a clearing, donned their costume, and began to give the moose love call. Before long, their call was answered as a bull came crashing out of the forest and into the clearing. When the bull was close enough, the guy in front said, "Okay, let’s get out and get him." After a moment that seemed like an eternity, the guy in the back shouted, "The zipper is stuck! What are we going to do?" The guy in the front said, "Well, I'm going to start nibbling grass, but you'd better brace yourself." BABE AND HUNK OF THE DAY Daily Babe: Click Here Daily Hunk: Click Here Please help pass on the laughs - forward this email to your friends and co-workers. TO SUBSCRIBE TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here TO CANCEL YOUR SUBSCRIPTION TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here For comments or suggestions, please use our Contact Form The-Jokes.com © 2001-2009. All rights reserved.

Laughing Baby - Medium (20-05-2010)

Daily Joke Visit The-Jokes.com Follow us on TWITTER! You can now follow us on TWITTER with the funniest short jokes and one-liners. Just open a Twitter.com account (if you don't have one) and follow us to receive our updates! Click Here Laughing Baby A baby boy was just born. He had all his pieces and looked quite normal, except that he was laughing - I mean laughing real hard. All the doctors and nurses were examining the little guy in front of his worried parents. He just kept on laughing, his tiny fists all closed and tears rolling from his eyes. One at a time, a pediatrician unfolded his tiny fingers to check if his hand was all right, and guess what he found? Scroll down. * * * * * * * * * * * * The birth control pill. BABE AND HUNK OF THE DAY Daily Babe: Click Here Daily Hunk: Click Here Please help pass on the laughs - forward this email to your friends and co-workers. TO SUBSCRIBE TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here TO CANCEL YOUR SUBSCRIPTION TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here For comments or suggestions, please use our Contact Form The-Jokes.com © 2001-2009. All rights reserved.

Sex Theory - Medium (18-05-2010)

Daily Joke Visit The-Jokes.com Follow us on TWITTER! You can now follow us on TWITTER with the funniest short jokes and one-liners. Just open a Twitter.com account (if you don't have one) and follow us to receive our updates! Click Here Sex Theory A noted sex therapist realized that people often lie about the frequency of their encounters, so he devised a test to tell for certain how often someone had sex. To prove his theory, he filled up an auditorium with people, and went down the line asking each person to smile. Using the size of the person's smile, the therapist was able to guess accurately how often each person had sex. The last man in line was grinning from ear to ear. "Twice a day," the therapist guessed, but was surprised when the man said no. "Once a day, then?" Again the answer was no. "Twice a week?" "No." "Twice a month?" "No." When the doctor asked, "Once a year?" the man finally said yes. The therapist was angry that his theory hadn’t worked with this individual, and he asked the man, "What the heck are you so happy about?" The man answered, "Tonight's the night!" BABE AND HUNK OF THE DAY Daily Babe: Click Here Daily Hunk: Click Here Please help pass on the laughs - forward this email to your friends and co-workers. TO SUBSCRIBE TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here TO CANCEL YOUR SUBSCRIPTION TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here For comments or suggestions, please use our Contact Form The-Jokes.com © 2001-2009. All rights reserved.

Big-game Hunter - Mature (16-05-2010)

Daily Joke Visit The-Jokes.com Follow us on TWITTER! You can now follow us on TWITTER with the funniest short jokes and one-liners. Just open a Twitter.com account (if you don't have one) and follow us to receive our updates! Click Here Big-game Hunter The big-game hunter walked into the bar and bragged to everyone about his skills as a hunter. The man was undoubtedly a good shot and no one could dispute that. But then he said that he could recognize any animal’s skin by feeling it, and he could tell what caliber rifle was used to shoot it by locating the bullet hole. This was a bit too much for the other customers, and soon a heated argument started. The hunter said that he was willing to prove it if they would put up the drinks, and the bet was on. They blindfolded him and took him to his first animal skin. After feeling it for a few moments, he announced, "Springbok." Then he felt for the bullet hole and declared, "And it was shot with a .22 rifle." He was right! The others could not believe it and the argument was even hotter than before. When someone suggested that he must have peeped, he said that he was prepared to do it again for another round. So they blindfolded him again, ve! ry thoroughly this time, and they brought a skin that someone happened to have in the trunk of his car. He took a bit longer this time and then said, "Kalahari Lion." Fingering the bullet hole, he added, "The rifle was a .308." He was right again! This only made the crowd more curious, and he had to prove his skills over and over again, every time winning a round of drinks. Finally he staggered home, bombed out of his mind, and went to sleep. The next morning he got up and saw in the mirror that he had one hell of a shiner. So he said to his wife, "Listen, I know I was drunk last night, but not too drunk to know that I didn’t get into a fight. So where did I get this black eye?" His wife replied angrily, "From me!" "What did I do?" he asked. She replied, "You got into bed and put your hand inside my panties. Then you fiddled around a bit and announced, 'Skunk, killed with an ax!'" BABE AND HUNK OF THE DAY Daily Babe: Click Here Daily Hunk: Click Here Please help pass on the laughs - forward this email to your friends and co-workers. TO SUBSCRIBE TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here TO CANCEL YOUR SUBSCRIPTION TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here For comments or suggestions, please use our Contact Form The-Jokes.com © 2001-2009. All rights reserved.

Artificial Respiration - Medium (13-05-2010)

Daily Joke Visit The-Jokes.com Follow us on TWITTER! You can now follow us on TWITTER with the funniest short jokes and one-liners. Just open a Twitter.com account (if you don't have one) and follow us to receive our updates! Click Here Artificial Respiration While leading a party of Girl Scouts through the woods in silent Indian fashion, the troop leader suddenly came upon a clearing where a young couple was engaged in an indecent act. "Back ladies, back!" cried the leader. "There's a very dangerous beast out there!" But it was too late. Several of the girls had more or less seen it all. They asked their leader what was happening. "Well, if you must know, that man and woman were practicing a brand new form of artificial respiration." "Wow!" exclaimed the oldest of the group. "I know which merit badge I'm gonna try for next." BABE AND HUNK OF THE DAY Daily Babe: Click Here Daily Hunk: Click Here Please help pass on the laughs - forward this email to your friends and co-workers. TO SUBSCRIBE TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here TO CANCEL YOUR SUBSCRIPTION TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here For comments or suggestions, please use our Contact Form The-Jokes.com © 2001-2009. All rights reserved.

Car Theft - Clean (11-05-2010)

Daily Joke Visit The-Jokes.com Follow us on TWITTER! You can now follow us on TWITTER with the funniest short jokes and one-liners. Just open a Twitter.com account (if you don't have one) and follow us to receive our updates! Click Here Car Theft Oscar drove his brand new Mercedes to his favorite sporting goods store. He parked it outside and went in to do a little perusing with Jan, his regular sales woman. Jan was a pretty blonde, and as Oscar walked into the store, she happily greeted him. But he requested to look around alone today before he needed her help. She obliged him and let him do his thing. Five minutes later, Jan came running up to him yelling, "Oscar! Oscar! I just saw someone driving off with your new Mercedes!" "Dear God! Did you try to stop him?" "No," she said, "I did better than that! I got the license plate number!" BABE AND HUNK OF THE DAY Daily Babe: Click Here Daily Hunk: Click Here Please help pass on the laughs - forward this email to your friends and co-workers. TO SUBSCRIBE TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here TO CANCEL YOUR SUBSCRIPTION TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here For comments or suggestions, please use our Contact Form The-Jokes.com © 2001-2009. All rights reserved.

High Tech Milking Machine - Mature (09-05-2010)

Daily Joke Visit The-Jokes.com Follow us on TWITTER! You can now follow us on TWITTER with the funniest short jokes and one-liners. Just open a Twitter.com account (if you don't have one) and follow us to receive our updates! Click Here High Tech Milking Machine Lewis's cousin, the farmer, ordered a high-tech milking machine. Since the equipment arrived when his wife was out of town, he decided to test it on himself first. So, he inserted his penis into the equipment, turned the switch on and everything else was automatic. Soon, he realized that the equipment provided him with as much pleasure as his wife did. When the fun was over, though, he quickly realized that he couldn't remove the instrument from his penis. He read the manual but didn't find any useful information. He tried every button on the instrument, but still without success. Finally, the farmer decided to call the supplier's Customer Service Hot Line. "Hello, I just bought a milking machine from your company. It works fantastic, but how do I remove it from the cow's udder?" "Don't worry," replied the customer service rep, "The machine will release automatically once it's collected two gallons." BABE AND HUNK OF THE DAY Daily Babe: Click Here Daily Hunk: Click Here Please help pass on the laughs - forward this email to your friends and co-workers. TO SUBSCRIBE TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here TO CANCEL YOUR SUBSCRIPTION TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here For comments or suggestions, please use our Contact Form The-Jokes.com © 2001-2009. All rights reserved.

Midget Horse - Medium (06-05-2010)

Daily Joke Visit The-Jokes.com Follow us on TWITTER! You can now follow us on TWITTER with the funniest short jokes and one-liners. Just open a Twitter.com account (if you don't have one) and follow us to receive our updates! Click Here Midget Horse This guy who owns a horse farm gets a call from a friend. The friend says, "I know this midget with a speech impediment who wants to buy a horse, and I'm sending him over." The midget arrives, and the owner asks him if he wants a male or female horse. "A female horth," the midget replies. So the owner shows him one. "Nith looking horth. Can I see her mouf?" So the owner picks up the midget and shows him the horse's teeth. "Nith mouf, can I see her eyeth?" So the owner picks up the midget and shows him her eyes. "OK, what about the earsth?" Now the owners is beginning to get a little pissed, but he picks up the midget one more time and shows him her ears. "Okay, finally, I would like to see her twat." With that, the owner loses all patience, picks up the midget, and shoves his head up the horse's twat, then pulls him out. Shaking his wet hea! d, the midget says, "Perhapth I should rephrase that. I would like to thee the horth run." BABE AND HUNK OF THE DAY Daily Babe: Click Here Daily Hunk: Click Here Please help pass on the laughs - forward this email to your friends and co-workers. TO SUBSCRIBE TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here TO CANCEL YOUR SUBSCRIPTION TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here For comments or suggestions, please use our Contact Form The-Jokes.com © 2001-2009. All rights reserved.

Health Organization - Clean (04-05-2010)

Daily Joke Visit The-Jokes.com Follow us on TWITTER! You can now follow us on TWITTER with the funniest short jokes and one-liners. Just open a Twitter.com account (if you don't have one) and follow us to receive our updates! Click Here Health Organization A doctor, a nurse, and the top executive of an HMO (health maintenance organization) have all died and are in line together at the Pearly Gates. Saint Peter speaks with them and asks what good each has done in their lives. The doctor says, "I have devoted my life to the sick and needy and have had a part in caring for and healing thousands of poor people." Saint Peter says, "That's great. Go ahead into heaven. And what about you, nurse?" The nurse says, "I've supported the good doctor and his patients my entire life as an adult." Saint Peter replies, "Wonderful. Please proceed in with the doctor. And what about you?" The HMO director says, "I was the president of a very large HMO and was responsible for the healthcare of millions of people all over the country." Saint Peter says, "Oh, I see. Please go in ... but you can only stay two nights!" BABE AND HUNK OF THE DAY Daily Babe: Click Here Daily Hunk: Click Here Please help pass on the laughs - forward this email to your friends and co-workers. TO SUBSCRIBE TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here TO CANCEL YOUR SUBSCRIPTION TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here For comments or suggestions, please use our Contact Form The-Jokes.com © 2001-2009. All rights reserved.

No Swimming - Medium (02-05-2010)

Daily Joke Visit The-Jokes.com Follow us on TWITTER! You can now follow us on TWITTER with the funniest short jokes and one-liners. Just open a Twitter.com account (if you don't have one) and follow us to receive our updates! Click Here No Swimming A beautiful woman walked into an orchard and found a lovely pool in it. She decided to go skinny-dipping. She looked around, didn't see anyone, and undressed. Just as she was about to dive in, the orchard owner appeared from behind the bush where he was hiding all along and told her that swimming was prohibited. "You could have told me that before I undressed!" she scolded him. He replied, "Swimming is prohibited, undressing isn't." BABE AND HUNK OF THE DAY Daily Babe: Click Here Daily Hunk: Click Here Please help pass on the laughs - forward this email to your friends and co-workers. TO SUBSCRIBE TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here TO CANCEL YOUR SUBSCRIPTION TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here For comments or suggestions, please use our Contact Form The-Jokes.com © 2001-2009. All rights reserved.