Aug 16, 2009

Three Types of Sex

There are three types of sex in a marriage. The first one is Kitchen Sex. This is when you are newlyweds, and you're still having fun, so you do it anywhere, anytime - but mostly the kitchen.

The second type is Bedroom Sex. This is when you have settled down a bit and probably have kids, so you can't do it anywhere except the bedroom.

The third type of sex is Hallway Sex. This is when you pass each other in the hall and say, ''Screw you.''

But there's also a fourth kind called Courtroom Sex. This is when you are getting a divorce and you try to screw each other in public.

 

Discontinued Jelly Bean Flavors

1. Gangrene
2. New Car
3. Burn Victim
4. Dimetapp
5. Sand
6. Taxi
7. Grandma
8. WD-40
9. Substitute Teacher
10. Cigarette
 
 

Sundae



Three guys are walking down the street one day, when they come on a whore house. They decide to go inside. When they get to the counter, the lady says, "It's $5 for sex."The first man turns to his buddies and says, "Do ya'll have any money?" They say no, so he reaches into his pocket and pulls out a dime. He tells the lady that all he has is a dime.She says, "We'll fix you up."She takes him to a room and 20 minutes later he comes back out. His buddies ask him what happened. He says that the lady put whipped cream on his dick and licked it off with her tongue. The second man says, "I got 15 cents. I wonder what I can get." He gives it to the lady, and she takes him back to the same room. He comes out 30 minutes later, and his buddies ask him what happened.He says, "She put whipped cream on my dick and then poured hot fudge on top of that and licked it off." The third guy says, "I got a quarter! , so I'm gonna see what I can get." The lady takes him back to the room, and 10 minutes later he comes out limping. His buddies look at him and ask what happened.He says, "She put whipped cream and hot fudge on my dick, and to top it off, she put a cherry...It looked so good I ate it my self."