May 10, 2009

The Aging Explorer

A young reporter went to a retirement home to interview an aged but legendary explorer. The reporter asked the old man to tell him the most frightening experience he had ever had.

The old explorer said, "Once I was hunting Bengal tigers in the jungles of India. I was on a narrow path and my faithful native gun bearer was behind me. Suddenly the largest tiger I have ever seen leaped onto the path in front of us. I turned to get my weapon only to find the native had fled. The tiger lept toward me with a mighty ROARRRR! I soiled myself."

The reporter said, "Under those circumstances anyone would have done the same."

The old explorer said, "No, not then -- just now when I went ''''ROARRRR!''''

 
 

Rosebuds

The teenage granddaughter comes downstairs for her date with this see-through blouse on and no bra.Her grandmother just has a fit, telling her not to dare go out like that. The teenager tells her "Loosen up Grams. These are modern times. You gotta let your rosebuds show!" and out she goes. The next day the teenager comes downstairs, and the grandmother is sitting there with no top on. The teenager wants to die. She explains to her grandmother that she has friends coming over and that it is just not appropriate."Loosen up, sweetie. If you can show off your rosebuds, then I can display my hanging baskets."
 
 

My Greatest Sin

Three nuns on a train had been getting to know one another and decided to tell each other what their greatest sins were. The first nun says, "My greatest sin is sex. Every year I go out for a week and work as a prostitute. Of course, I put all the money I earn into the poor box."The second nun says, "My greatest sin is drinking. Every year I take the money from the poor box and go out drinking for a solid week." The third just sits there quietly.So the first nun says to her, "Come on, we've told you our worst sins. Now you have to tell us yours."The third nun says, "My greatest sin is that I gossip, and I can't wait to get off this train."
 

Yo Mama's So Poor

Yo mama's so poor, a cockroach crawled across the floor and I stepped on it and she said, ''Now what do we do for supper?''