Ben Dover - Medium (30-03-2010)

Daily Joke Visit The-Jokes.com Please, do not reply to this e-mail. Go to the end for contact info and removal instructions. If you're under 18, get your parents' permission before you read this. The Holiday Classics! Last years top selling holiday items are back! When you think of holiday smells, do you think of Christmas trees and freshly baked cookies? What about farts? Well you will this year with our Farting Santa! Don't worry, it's a replica of the sound only! Feeling a bit more risque this holiday season? There's the Mooning Santa and Perv the Elf! You won't believe what comes out of this pipsqueaks mouth! Get your shopping done early! Ben Dover A small white guy walks into an elevator and notices a huge black dude standing next to him. The big black guy looks down at the small white guy and says, "Seven feet tall, 350 pounds, 20-inch dick, 3-pound left ball, 3-pound right ball, Ben Dover." The small white guy faints! The big guy picks up the small guy and brings him to, slapping his face and shaking him before he booms out, "What's wrong?" The small guy says, "Excuse me, but what did you say?" The big guy looks down and says, "Seven feet tall, 350 pounds, 20-inch dick, 3-pound left ball, 3-pound right ball, my name is Ben Dover." The small white guy says, "Thank god! The first time I thought you had said, 'Bend over!'" BABE AND HUNK OF THE DAY Daily Babe: Click Here Daily Hunk: Click Here Please help pass on the laughs - forward this email to your friends and co-workers. TO SUBSCRIBE TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here TO CANCEL YOUR SUBSCRIPTION TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here For comments or suggestions, please use our Contact Form The-Jokes.com © 2001-2009. All rights reserved.

Tequila Waste - Clean (28-03-2010)

Daily Joke Visit The-Jokes.com Please, do not reply to this e-mail. Go to the end for contact info and removal instructions. If you're under 18, get your parents' permission before you read this. The Holiday Classics! Last years top selling holiday items are back! When you think of holiday smells, do you think of Christmas trees and freshly baked cookies? What about farts? Well you will this year with our Farting Santa! Don't worry, it's a replica of the sound only! Feeling a bit more risque this holiday season? There's the Mooning Santa and Perv the Elf! You won't believe what comes out of this pipsqueaks mouth! Get your shopping done early! Tequila Waste Three guys go into a bar: a guy from Dallas, a guy from San Francisco, and a guy from Boulder. They drank and got a little rowdy. Suddenly, completely without warning, the Texan grabbed a bottle of tequila, unscrewed the top, took a good swig, and threw the bottle into the air. He then jerked a Colt .45 pistol out of his pocket and shot the bottle, spraying tequila all over everything and everybody. The patrons at the bar shouted, "Hey, bud, why'd you waste that tequila?" The Texan said, "Heck, it's just tequila. Us Texans go across the border all the time and get all the tequila we want." Not to be outdone, the Californian whipped out a corkscrew and uncorked a bottle of wine. He poured some into a glass, swirled it, sniffed, commented on the tart insolence of its bouquet, sipped, tossed the bottle in the air, nicked it with a round from a silly little chrome-plated pistol, and showered a couple of patrons at the bar with wine. The patrons, upset by the casual waste and general lack of concern for their safety, expressed their displeasure and astonishment, to which the Californian replied, "Well, I'm from Napa Valley, and we have more than enough wine where I come from." The Boulderite, a quiet observer up to this point, touched the crystal hanging from his neck, adjusted his Birkenstocks, flipped back his ponytail, put down his guitar, and borrowed a bottle opener from the bartender. He popped the top off a bottle of Fat Tire beer, hammered it back, threw the empty bottle into the air, pulled a 9mm Beretta, took careful aim, shot both the Californian and the Texan, and caught the falling bottle. The patrons screamed in utter disbelief, "Why'd you do that?" The Boulderite replied, "I'm from Colorado. We've already got too many Texans and way too many Californians, but glass bottles, now those can be recycled!" BABE AND HUNK OF THE DAY Daily Babe: Click Here Daily Hunk: Click Here Please help pass on the laughs - forward this email to your friends and co-workers. TO SUBSCRIBE TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here TO CANCEL YOUR SUBSCRIPTION TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here For comments or suggestions, please use our Contact Form The-Jokes.com © 2001-2009. All rights reserved.

Sisters - Medium (25-03-2010)

Daily Joke Visit The-Jokes.com Please, do not reply to this e-mail. Go to the end for contact info and removal instructions. If you're under 18, get your parents' permission before you read this. The Holiday Classics! Last years top selling holiday items are back! When you think of holiday smells, do you think of Christmas trees and freshly baked cookies? What about farts? Well you will this year with our Farting Santa! Don't worry, it's a replica of the sound only! Feeling a bit more risque this holiday season? There's the Mooning Santa and Perv the Elf! You won't believe what comes out of this pipsqueaks mouth! Get your shopping done early! Sisters Nina lived in Manhattan. Nina's younger sister, Rosey, came in from college to spend a weekend with her sophisticated sister. Nina had even arranged a date for Rosey with one of her friends, George. After a lovely dinner and a show, George and Rosey went to George's apartment for a nightcap. They talked and listened to soft music for a while and then George suggested they retire to the bedroom. "Oh, no," Rosey protested. "I don't think my sister would like it." "Nonsense," said George as he gently took her arm. "She loves it." BABE AND HUNK OF THE DAY Daily Babe: Click Here Daily Hunk: Click Here Please help pass on the laughs - forward this email to your friends and co-workers. TO SUBSCRIBE TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here TO CANCEL YOUR SUBSCRIPTION TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here For comments or suggestions, please use our Contact Form The-Jokes.com © 2001-2009. All rights reserved.

How to cure a cough - Clean (23-03-2010)

Daily Joke Visit The-Jokes.com Please, do not reply to this e-mail. Go to the end for contact info and removal instructions. If you're under 18, get your parents' permission before you read this. The Holiday Classics! Last years top selling holiday items are back! When you think of holiday smells, do you think of Christmas trees and freshly baked cookies? What about farts? Well you will this year with our Farting Santa! Don't worry, it's a replica of the sound only! Feeling a bit more risque this holiday season? There's the Mooning Santa and Perv the Elf! You won't believe what comes out of this pipsqueaks mouth! Get your shopping done early! How to cure a cough John was a clerk in a small drugstore, but he was not much of a salesman. He could never find the item the customer wanted. The drugstore owner had had about enough and warned John that the next sale he missed would be his last. Just then a man came in coughing and asked John for their best cough syrup. Try as he might, John could not find the cough syrup. Remembering the owner's warning, John sold the man a box of Ex-Lax and instructed him to take the entire box all at once. The customer immediately consumed the entire box in the store and then walked outside and leaned against a lamppost. The drugstore owner had seen the whole thing and came over to ask John what had transpired. "He wanted something for his cough but I couldn't find the cough syrup. I substituted Ex-Lax and told him to take it all at once." "Ex- Lax won't cure a cough!" the owner shouted angrily. "Sure it will," John said, pointing at the man leaning on the lampp! ost. "Look at him. He's afraid to cough." BABE AND HUNK OF THE DAY Daily Babe: Click Here Daily Hunk: Click Here Please help pass on the laughs - forward this email to your friends and co-workers. TO SUBSCRIBE TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here TO CANCEL YOUR SUBSCRIPTION TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here For comments or suggestions, please use our Contact Form The-Jokes.com © 2001-2009. All rights reserved.

How to cure a cough - Clean (21-03-2010)

Daily Joke Visit The-Jokes.com Please, do not reply to this e-mail. Go to the end for contact info and removal instructions. If you're under 18, get your parents' permission before you read this. The Holiday Classics! Last years top selling holiday items are back! When you think of holiday smells, do you think of Christmas trees and freshly baked cookies? What about farts? Well you will this year with our Farting Santa! Don't worry, it's a replica of the sound only! Feeling a bit more risque this holiday season? There's the Mooning Santa and Perv the Elf! You won't believe what comes out of this pipsqueaks mouth! Get your shopping done early! How to cure a cough John was a clerk in a small drugstore, but he was not much of a salesman. He could never find the item the customer wanted. The drugstore owner had had about enough and warned John that the next sale he missed would be his last. Just then a man came in coughing and asked John for their best cough syrup. Try as he might, John could not find the cough syrup. Remembering the owner's warning, John sold the man a box of Ex-Lax and instructed him to take the entire box all at once. The customer immediately consumed the entire box in the store and then walked outside and leaned against a lamppost. The drugstore owner had seen the whole thing and came over to ask John what had transpired. "He wanted something for his cough but I couldn't find the cough syrup. I substituted Ex-Lax and told him to take it all at once." "Ex- Lax won't cure a cough!" the owner shouted angrily. "Sure it will," John said, pointing at the man leaning on the lampp! ost. "Look at him. He's afraid to cough." BABE AND HUNK OF THE DAY Daily Babe: Click Here Daily Hunk: Click Here Please help pass on the laughs - forward this email to your friends and co-workers. TO SUBSCRIBE TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here TO CANCEL YOUR SUBSCRIPTION TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here For comments or suggestions, please use our Contact Form The-Jokes.com © 2001-2009. All rights reserved.

Insects - Medium (18-03-2010)

Daily Joke Visit The-Jokes.com Please, do not reply to this e-mail. Go to the end for contact info and removal instructions. If you're under 18, get your parents' permission before you read this. The Holiday Classics! Last years top selling holiday items are back! When you think of holiday smells, do you think of Christmas trees and freshly baked cookies? What about farts? Well you will this year with our Farting Santa! Don't worry, it's a replica of the sound only! Feeling a bit more risque this holiday season? There's the Mooning Santa and Perv the Elf! You won't believe what comes out of this pipsqueaks mouth! Get your shopping done early! Insects A boy and his father were playing catch in the front yard when the boy saw a honey bee. He ran over and stomped it. "That was a honey bee," his father said, "one of our friends. For stomping him you will do without honey for a week." Later the boy saw a butterfly, so he ran over and stomped it. "That was a butterfly," his father said, "one of our friends, and for stomping him you will do without butter for a week." The next morning the family sat down for breakfast. The boy ate his plain toast with no honey or butter. Suddenly a cockroach ran out from under the stove. His mother stomped it. The boy looked at his father and said, "Are you going to tell her, Dad, or should I?" BABE AND HUNK OF THE DAY Daily Babe: Click Here Daily Hunk: Click Here Please help pass on the laughs - forward this email to your friends and co-workers. TO SUBSCRIBE TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here TO CANCEL YOUR SUBSCRIPTION TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here For comments or suggestions, please use our Contact Form The-Jokes.com © 2001-2009. All rights reserved.

Step Back, I Know First-Aid - Clean (16-03-2010)

Daily Joke Visit The-Jokes.com Please, do not reply to this e-mail. Go to the end for contact info and removal instructions. If you're under 18, get your parents' permission before you read this. The Holiday Classics! Last years top selling holiday items are back! When you think of holiday smells, do you think of Christmas trees and freshly baked cookies? What about farts? Well you will this year with our Farting Santa! Don't worry, it's a replica of the sound only! Feeling a bit more risque this holiday season? There's the Mooning Santa and Perv the Elf! You won't believe what comes out of this pipsqueaks mouth! Get your shopping done early! Step Back, I Know First-Aid When a car skidded on wet pavement and struck a telephone pole, several bystanders ran over to help the driver. A woman was the first to reach the victim, but a man rushed in and pushed her aside. "Step aside, lady," he barked. "I've taken a course in first-aid!" The woman watched for a few minutes, then tapped him on the shoulder. "Pardon me," she said. "But when you get to the part about calling a doctor, I'm right here." BABE AND HUNK OF THE DAY Daily Babe: Click Here Daily Hunk: Click Here Please help pass on the laughs - forward this email to your friends and co-workers. TO SUBSCRIBE TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here TO CANCEL YOUR SUBSCRIPTION TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here For comments or suggestions, please use our Contact Form The-Jokes.com © 2001-2009. All rights reserved.

When do I start my job? - Clean (14-03-2010)

Daily Joke Visit The-Jokes.com Please, do not reply to this e-mail. Go to the end for contact info and removal instructions. If you're under 18, get your parents' permission before you read this. The Holiday Classics! Last years top selling holiday items are back! When you think of holiday smells, do you think of Christmas trees and freshly baked cookies? What about farts? Well you will this year with our Farting Santa! Don't worry, it's a replica of the sound only! Feeling a bit more risque this holiday season? There's the Mooning Santa and Perv the Elf! You won't believe what comes out of this pipsqueaks mouth! Get your shopping done early! When do I start my job? Boudreaux went into the fish market to apply for a job. The boss thought to himself - I'm not hiring that lazy Cajun, so he decided to set a test for Boudreaux hoping he wouldn't be able to answer the questions and he'd be able to refuse him the job without getting into an argument. The first question was, "Without using numbers, represent the number 9." Boudreaux says, "Dat's easy" and proceeds to draw three trees. The boss says, "What in the world is that?" Boudreaux says, "Tree 'n tree 'n tree makes nine." "Fair enough" says the boss. "Second questions, same rules, but represent 99". Boudreaux stares into space for a while, then makes a smudge on each tree. "Der ya go sir," he says. The boss scratches his head and asks, "How on earth do you get that to represent 99?" Boudreaux answers, "Each tree is dirty now, so it's dirty tree 'n dirty tree 'n dirty tree - dat 9! 9." The boss is getting worried he's going to have to hire Boudreaux so he says, "All right, question number 3. Same rules again, but this time represent the number 100." Boudreaux stares into space again, then he shouts, "I got it!" He makes a little mark at the base of each tree and says, "Der ya go sir - 100." The boss looks at Boudreaux's attempt and thinks, "Ha! got him this time." He then tells Boudreaux, "Go on, Boudreaux, you must be crazy if you think that represents a 100." Boudreaux leans forward and points to the little marks at the tree bases and says, "A little dog comes along and craps by each tree, so now ya got dirty tree an' a turd, dirty tree an' a turd, and dirty tree an' a turd, which makes 100. When do I start my job?" BABE AND HUNK OF THE DAY Daily Babe: Click Here Daily Hunk: Click Here Please help pass on the laughs - forward this email to your friends and co-workers. TO SUBSCRIBE TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here TO CANCEL YOUR SUBSCRIPTION TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here For comments or suggestions, please use our Contact Form The-Jokes.com © 2001-2009. All rights reserved.

Headstone - Medium (11-03-2010)

Daily Joke Visit The-Jokes.com Please, do not reply to this e-mail. Go to the end for contact info and removal instructions. If you're under 18, get your parents' permission before you read this. The Holiday Classics! Last years top selling holiday items are back! When you think of holiday smells, do you think of Christmas trees and freshly baked cookies? What about farts? Well you will this year with our Farting Santa! Don't worry, it's a replica of the sound only! Feeling a bit more risque this holiday season? There's the Mooning Santa and Perv the Elf! You won't believe what comes out of this pipsqueaks mouth! Get your shopping done early! Headstone Husband and his wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th wedding anniversary. The husband yells, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads, 'Here Lies My Wife - Cold As Ever'." "Yeah" she replies, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads, 'Here Lies My Husband - Stiff At Last.'" BABE AND HUNK OF THE DAY Daily Babe: Click Here Daily Hunk: Click Here Please help pass on the laughs - forward this email to your friends and co-workers. TO SUBSCRIBE TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here TO CANCEL YOUR SUBSCRIPTION TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here For comments or suggestions, please use our Contact Form The-Jokes.com © 2001-2009. All rights reserved.

Learning Chinese - Clean (09-03-2010)

Daily Joke Visit The-Jokes.com Please, do not reply to this e-mail. Go to the end for contact info and removal instructions. If you're under 18, get your parents' permission before you read this. The Holiday Classics! Last years top selling holiday items are back! When you think of holiday smells, do you think of Christmas trees and freshly baked cookies? What about farts? Well you will this year with our Farting Santa! Don't worry, it's a replica of the sound only! Feeling a bit more risque this holiday season? There's the Mooning Santa and Perv the Elf! You won't believe what comes out of this pipsqueaks mouth! Get your shopping done early! Learning Chinese That's not right: Sum Ting Wong Are you harboring a fugitive?: Hu Yu Hai Ding? See me ASAP: Kum Hia Nao Stupid Man: Dum Gai Small Horse: Tai Ni Po Ni Did you go to the beach?: Wai Yu So Tan? I bumped into a coffee table: Ai Bang Mai Ni I think you need a face lift: Chin Tu Fat It's very dark in here: Wai So Dim? I thought you were on a diet: Mun Ching? This is a tow away zone: No Pah King You are not very bright: Yu So Dum I got this for free: Ai No Pei Please stay a while longer: Wai Go Nao? Stay out of sight: Lei Lo He's cleaning his automobile: Wa Shing Ka Your body odor is offensive: Yu Stin Ki Pu BABE AND HUNK OF THE DAY Daily Babe: Click Here Daily Hunk: Click Here Please help pass on the laughs - forward this email to your friends and co-workers. TO SUBSCRIBE TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here TO CANCEL YOUR SUBSCRIPTION TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here For comments or suggestions, please use our Contact Form The-Jokes.com © 2001-2009. All rights reserved.

Top Ten Reasons Computers Are Male - Medium (07-03-2010)

Daily Joke Visit The-Jokes.com Please, do not reply to this e-mail. Go to the end for contact info and removal instructions. If you're under 18, get your parents' permission before you read this. The Holiday Classics! Last years top selling holiday items are back! When you think of holiday smells, do you think of Christmas trees and freshly baked cookies? What about farts? Well you will this year with our Farting Santa! Don't worry, it's a replica of the sound only! Feeling a bit more risque this holiday season? There's the Mooning Santa and Perv the Elf! You won't believe what comes out of this pipsqueaks mouth! Get your shopping done early! Top Ten Reasons Computers Are Male 10. They have a lot of data but are still clueless. 9. A better model is always just around the corner. 8. They look nice and shinny until you bring them home. 7. It is always necessary to have a backup. 6. They'll do whatever you say if you push the right buttons. 5. The best part of having either one is the games you can play. 4. In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on. 3. The lights are on but nobody's home. 2. Big power surges knock them out for the night. 1. Size does matter. BABE AND HUNK OF THE DAY Daily Babe: Click Here Daily Hunk: Click Here Please help pass on the laughs - forward this email to your friends and co-workers. TO SUBSCRIBE TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here TO CANCEL YOUR SUBSCRIPTION TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here For comments or suggestions, please use our Contact Form The-Jokes.com © 2001-2009. All rights reserved.

Golf in Heaven - Clean (04-03-2010)

Daily Joke Visit The-Jokes.com Please, do not reply to this e-mail. Go to the end for contact info and removal instructions. If you're under 18, get your parents' permission before you read this. The Holiday Classics! Last years top selling holiday items are back! When you think of holiday smells, do you think of Christmas trees and freshly baked cookies? What about farts? Well you will this year with our Farting Santa! Don't worry, it's a replica of the sound only! Feeling a bit more risque this holiday season? There's the Mooning Santa and Perv the Elf! You won't believe what comes out of this pipsqueaks mouth! Get your shopping done early! Golf in Heaven Moses, Jesus and some 'ol geezer were going to play a round of golf. Moses teed off, the ball went right into the pond. "No problem!" he said. Moses walked over, parted the water, and hit the ball again. This time it landed about one foot from the hole. Jesus then teed off and the ball went flying off to the left, hit a tree, then miraculously bounced within about six inches of the hole. The 'ol geezer stepped up and teed off. As the ball headed right for the pond, a huge bass jumped up and grabbed the ball in its mouth. Suddenly an eagle swooped down, grabbed the bass and flew over the green. The bass dropped the ball and it rolled within two inches of the hole! All of the sudden, a worm popped up and knocked the ball in. A hole in one. Moses looked at Jesus and said, "You know, I really hate it when your dad plays." BABE AND HUNK OF THE DAY Daily Babe: Click Here Daily Hunk: Click Here Please help pass on the laughs - forward this email to your friends and co-workers. TO SUBSCRIBE TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here TO CANCEL YOUR SUBSCRIPTION TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here For comments or suggestions, please use our Contact Form The-Jokes.com © 2001-2009. All rights reserved.

Joe and salesman - Medium (02-03-2010)

Daily Joke Visit The-Jokes.com Please, do not reply to this e-mail. Go to the end for contact info and removal instructions. If you're under 18, get your parents' permission before you read this. The Holiday Classics! Last years top selling holiday items are back! When you think of holiday smells, do you think of Christmas trees and freshly baked cookies? What about farts? Well you will this year with our Farting Santa! Don't worry, it's a replica of the sound only! Feeling a bit more risque this holiday season? There's the Mooning Santa and Perv the Elf! You won't believe what comes out of this pipsqueaks mouth! Get your shopping done early! Joe and salesman Joe was moderately successful in his career, but as he got older he was increasingly hampered by terrible headaches. When his personal hygiene and love life started to suffer, he sought medical help. After being referred from one specialist to another, he finally came across a doctor who solved the problem. "The good news is I can cure your headaches. The bad news is that it will require castration. You have a very rare condition which causes your testicles to press up against the base of your spine. The pressure creates one hell of a headache. The only way to relieve the pressure is to remove the testicles." Joe was shocked and depressed. He wondered if he had anything to live for. He couldn't concentrate long enough to answer, but decided he had no choice but to go under the knife. When he left the hospital, his mind was clear, but he felt like he was missing an important part of himself. As he walked down the street, he ! realized that he felt like a different person. He could make a new beginning and live a new life. He walked past a men's clothing store and thought, "That's what I need, a new suit." He entered the shop and told the salesman, "I'd like a new suit." The salesman eyed him briefly and said, "Let's see... size 44 long." Joe laughed, "That's right, how did you know?" "It's my job." Joe tried on the suit. It fit perfectly. As Joe admired himself in the mirror, the salesman asked, "How about a new shirt?" Joe thought for a moment and then said, "Sure!" The salesman eyed Joe and said, "Let's see,... 34 sleeve and... 16 and a half neck." Joe was surprised, "That's right, how did you know?" "It's my job." Joe tried on the shirt, and it fit perfectly. As Joe adjusted the collar in the mirror, the salesman asked, "How about new shoes?" Joe was on a roll an! d said, "Sure!" The salesman eyed Joe's feet and sa! id, "Let 's see...9 and a half wide." Joe was astonished, "That's right, how did you know?" "It's my job." Joe tried on the shoes and they fit perfectly. Joe walked comfortably around the shop and the salesman asked, "How about a new hat?" Without hesitating, Joe said, "Sure!" The salesman eyed Joe's head and said, "Let's see. . . 7 5/8." Joe was incredulous, "That's right, how did you know?" "It's my job." The hat fit perfectly. Joe was feeling great, when the salesman asked, "How about some new underwear?" Joe thought for a second and said, "Sure!" The salesman stepped back, eyed Joe's waist and said, "Let's see... size 36." Joe laughed, "No, I've worn size 34 since I was 18 years old." The salesman shook his head and said, "You can't wear a size 34. It would press your testicles up against the base of your spine and give you one hell of a he! adache!" BABE AND HUNK OF THE DAY Daily Babe: Click Here Daily Hunk: Click Here Please help pass on the laughs - forward this email to your friends and co-workers. TO SUBSCRIBE TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here TO CANCEL YOUR SUBSCRIPTION TO THIS BULLETIN: Click Here For comments or suggestions, please use our Contact Form The-Jokes.com © 2001-2009. All rights reserved.