Harry was sensitive about his wooden leg and afraid no woman would have him. He was delighted when he found a young woman who accepted his proposal of marriage. He couldn't bring himself to tell his fianc� about his leg when he slipped the ring on her finger, nor when she bought the dress, nor when they picked the time and place. All he kept saying was, "Darling, I've got a big surprise for you," at which she blushed and smiled bewitchingly.The wedding night came and went, and the young couple was at last alone in their hotel room. "Now don't forget, Harry, you promised me a big surprise," said the bride.Unable to say a word, Harry turned out the lights, unstrapped his wooden leg, slipped into bed, and placed his wife's hand on the stump."Hmmmmm," she said softly, "that is a surprise. But pass me the Vaseline and I'll see what I can do!"
Aug 12, 2009
Beer Goggles
Joe stopped at his favorite watering hole after a hard day's work to relax. He noticed a man next to him order a shot and a beer. The man drank the shot, chased it with the beer and then looked into his shirt pocket. This continued several times before Joe's curiosity got the best of him.
He leaned over to the guy and said, "Excuse me, I couldn't help but notice your little ritual. Why in the world do you look into your shirt pocket every time you drink your shot and beer?"
The man replied, "There's a picture of my wife in there, and when she starts lookin' good, I'm headin' home!"
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