Salary raise

I, the penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:I do physical laborI work at great depthsI plunge head first into everything I doI do not get weekends off or public holidaysI work in a damp environmentI don't get paid overtimeI work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilationI work in high temperaturesMy work exposes me to contagious diseasesDear Penis, After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:You do not work 8 hours straightYou fall asleep on the job after brief work periodYou do not always follow the orders of the management teamYou do not stay in your allocated position, and often visit other areasYou do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start workingYou leave the workplace ra! ther messy at the end of your shiftYou don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing the correct protective clothingYou'll retire well before reaching 65You're unable to work double shiftsYou sometimes leave your allocated position before you have completed the day's work. And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering and leaving the workplace carrying 2 suspicious looking bags.Sincerely,The Management

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